For better or worse, we have come to believe that we have choices. We choose to be romantic with specific people, do laundry some days instead of others or believe in a scientific finding instead of another. Even if we don't choose to believe or act upon anything, we are still making a choice.
Or so we believe.
Humans are peculiar animals. We are brought up to believe all sorts of things. Slowly but steadily, we are chiseled into unique individuals by forces beyond our control. Nonetheless, we continue believing that we are the masters of our destiny. From the genetics of our parents, the way our social circles treat us or the impact of various technologies and innovations that mold our very hobbies and activities, we are nothing but an elaborate mosaic of billions of chaotic events. We want to believe that we are in control for the sake of our sanity. This is how religion, self-help-gurus and even science work. They reassure us that we know how the world operates even though in 500 years from now, people will find us in the same way helpless and erroneous as we find the people who lived 500 years before us.
What we choose, or at least what we think we choose, is nothing more than opportunities that result from chaotic random events. We might like food x because at some point we had a happy memory that associated that food with a habit. Similarly, we might have a phobia because of another, negative experience. We associate success with what success looks like in our world, in our time. We associate failure much the same way. We are imprisoned by stereotypes and false perceptions because every single thing around us operates on a slowly crafted stereotype that it most likely an illusion.
Evolution, the slow process or transformation, is fascinating for the very reason one cannot just choose a given point in time in order to describe a given process. The whole concept, individual or idea has to be seen as a whole if it is to be understood. Unfortunately, when it comes to human concepts that have evolved such as ethos, success, and other human values the task impossible.
Whether one is religious or not, we have to accept the idea that we are bounded by specific parameters, fixed rules we cannot escape. We are social animals. Much like a drug addict, we will be seeking attention and confirmation to satisfy that very social need that binds everything together from procreation to family, carreer, and friends. We have the deep desire of leaving something behind for someone else to continue much like our DNA operates. What we perceive as "choice", is nothing but a very narrow window of opportunities with slight variations so evolution can create enough variety for ensuring survival.
Perhaps the most tragic of choices is the act of finding refuge to other people’ s choices, past and present. We define ourselves by comparing the choices of others with ours even though they cannot be objectively measured. In a way, our lives are not even our own. We are merely the expressions of random choices that unfold upon themselves.