For the past year I’ve been on the warpath with people saying ‘Sorry’ when they did nothing wrong.
There are so many times in a single day that we find ourselves apologising. So many times a day or week that we say the word ‘sorry’. Think about it, you’ll find that you say ‘sorry’ many times a day.
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You’re walking down the street and you accidently bump a person’s hand walking by. “I’m sorry!” will almost always be the first thing you say.
You’re don't have your watch and ask the time. “I’m sorry, do you know what time it is?”
You want to ask a coworker about the latest budget report he/she wrote. “I’m so sorry to bother you, but…”
You want to have a look at something behind the counter at the hardware store. “Excuse me sir. I’m sorry, but…”
“I’m sorry, but can you direct me to the nearest…”
“I’m sorry, can you help me find…”
The list can carry on ad infinitum!
I’m certainly not a psychologist and I’m by no means an expert on the topic, but I believe that our subconscious mind ‘hears’ every ‘I’m sorry’ and reacts accordingly. Our subconscious mind, I’ve learned, is like fertile soil. Whatever you ‘plant’ (speak/think) in this ‘soil’ (your mind) will thrive. The same goes with not ‘planting’ anything in this ‘soil’. It will almost always become ‘weed infested’ (negative thoughts).
In other words. Your subconscious mind will react to whatever you say or think. You’re the ‘gardener’ of you own mind. If you’re going to say “I’m sorry” so many times a day, eventually you’ll be sorry for everything.
Negative thoughts beget a negative life. The same can be said for sorry. Eventually you’ll start apologising for everything.
This is what I believe.
It takes away the worth of your apology when you really regret an action.
To be able to apologise is powerful. It can fix relationships and be humbling. But when you apologise for every little thing it just becomes a degrading and meaningless habit without sincerity.
We need to realise what effect our words have on ourselves and our image.
If we go around apologising all day long to those around us, that is how we’ll be seen. And again… sorry begets sorry. We’ll be seen as sorry person who lacks self-confidence and always makes mistakes.
When you apologise for everything you lose your value as a person.
If you apologise for everything all day long when you did nothing wrong you’ll lose self-respect and self-confidence. If you didn’t mistake you shouldn’t apologise. We all have more worth than we allow ourselves.
Here’s what I think we should do.
Only apologise when you made a mistake. Own up to it and make sure your apology is sincere. Don’t apologise for things that are not in your control.
Replace the word ‘sorry’ with a word more fitting the situation. Instead of “I’m sorry, but do you have the time.” Say “Hello! Will you please tell me what time it is?” Don’t forget the great big smile on your face!
Don’t say “Excuse me” unless burp or you’re not leaving the table!
