The Power of Turn-on
It’s easy to understand being “turned on” from a sexual perspective, we all know and love this experience. What if it’s possible to take that same energy towards and apply it towards other areas of life? What if it can be a source of power as well as valuable guiding information? Sexual energy is after all one of the most powerful forces that exists so if we can harness it, who knows what’s possible!
I’ve been experimenting with this hypothesis and this post is simply a reflection of my own thoughts and explorations and I hope you will comment with feedback and maybe some of your own insights, I’m very interested in hearing them.
It seems to me that men have figured out much more about how to use sexual energy in broader ways than women have and part of the reason is that for women there is so much shame associated with sexuality and sexual power.
I’m referring to the energy at the root of sexual desire - tuning into this rich resource can fuel other parts of life that need a little more oomph.
As a female, the only permissible way to acknowledge arousal is for it to be directed towards a very narrow range of love related sexual experiences, and anything outside of this was for the most part shamed out of me. This was because as a girl I wasn’t supposed to be sexual. Despite the the many photographs of sexualized, objectified girls that told me something else and despite all the mixed messages that I’ve been fed as a female, the clear overarching message was that inhabiting my sexuality was NOT a good thing and in fact made me a bad person, a dirty cheap girl. Feeling good physically, enjoying my own physicality in a raw and earthy way was shameful. I’ve redefined things for myself over the years, but these messages are still there. I’ve met women who’ve had healthy examples and didn’t internalize this shame, but they seem to be few and far between.
What a waste of such precious energy! Those messages were so very wrong in every single way. In fact my - and everyone’s - most potent power, the most precious generous creative gold that bubbles up within us has its source in the most basic primal human drives - desire, attraction, sexuality. While sexual energy is obviously great for sex, it can be also directed towards fueling life-force, creativity, in my studio, my love for friends, family, my passion for life and the list goes on and on. Think of the wordless and irresistible power of attraction - anything and everything works better with a bit of “turn on” behind it.
So how to ignite it, kindle it, even recognize it? It is as simple as tuning in to my sexual energy, which is always there even if my attention is elsewhere. I pay attention to it and let it fill my body and my emotions and mind get involved too. Then I go forth to do, connect, and ignite any project or task I want to. I’m finding that this makes whatever it is I’m doing a richer experience. And as I get more accustomed to doing this, it becomes more natural and I don’t have to think about it as much except to remember to tune into it.
And what about keeping it alive? Fan it, build it and paying attention to it really helps. Next, pay attention to what makes those feelings grow and what makes them wilt.
Any mundane moment of the day can be an opportunity to notice what makes us feel alive, empowered and fueled. For breakfast, what kind of food, what kind of setting, the speed, etc…are most conducive to pleasure? And what I’m wearing? Honestly, sometimes I prefer the most comfortable clothes because I feel so free and easy in them. This doesn’t have to fit into any cliche of sexy or of femininity, this is about what we feel and honestly ignites our feelings of virility. What about at work? Are there ways of working that are less draining and more life-giving? Can my setting, my transitions, my schedule, how I do things foster a little more pleasure?
And what about what turns me off and makes me go cold? Is it possible to transform those exhausting, soul-sucking activities into something life-giving or at least more neutral? I don’t know the answer to this fully, but have been experimenting with two tasks I truly dislike - housecleaning and paying bills. So far both feel less odious and more satisfying and partially it’s because it’s easier to remember why I care about these tasks.
I am a hell of a lot happier if I live from a place of being connected to my sexual power. Let me be very clear - I’m not saying that sex itself guides my decisions, I’m saying that by opening up this channel of energy and then noting what turns me on and keeps me turned on opens up a lot of unused power in me. I’m referring to the energy at the root of sexual desire and tuning into this rich resource to use in fueling other parts of life that need a little more oomph. It applies to work, to friends, to little things all day long and making sure that I keep that energy flowing makes a huge difference. And YES I will make decisions to go towards what turns me on.
In fact, by connecting to this energy I am putting the Law of Attraction in motion big time and what I love will come a lot closer. I literally attract what turns me on. So noticing what turns me on and if it’s something I want to grow in my life, then I ignite it even more.
Given that this concept is fairly new to me, I’m in the very early stages of this and am very curious what will develop.
Love to hear from you…. do you have experiences to tell?… any thoughts?…. am I on to something or deluded?
