Life is a whole big web of people and their own agenda. It's too huge a network that even an individual hardly gets to see himself in all of it, and that is when people like me who are interested in human behavior and philosophy of life start making sense out of that absurdity of oneself through logically inspecting that matter that seems too small but actually is too enormous of a world in itself. Now, you're probably wondering why humans tend to not see their own self out of this whole life or just how a person could actually see himself despite the difficulty, so let me tell you all about it.

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Loneliness

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I remember, my mom once told me,

"You're not allowed to be lonely. The Bible says it is a sin."

...as if the life I didn't determine myself to live is not the real sin causing this whole misery. Hearing that from my mother was funny, but taking such phrase as an actual thought simply felt stupid! I mean the whole argument is flawed and I'm not even going to elaborate on that anymore....

Now, loneliness may be a sin to my mother who ironically admits to having it for a long time now, but for me, it is just a natural adversary one may not totally defeat but at least shrug off like it weren't there at all. It's also funny that to say and feel you're lonely, you need to actually be in touch with yourself, when ironically, it is one of those reasons why we actually fail to see ourselves.

When we are lonely, we do feel all the melancholic experiences we've had or even those we haven't even experienced yet. It's like a switch to censoring all those emotions that are in general, unnecessary. It's a whole fog that blinds oneself to seeing where he really is, for depression or any form of sadness is never a position. It is a weather in the place you're in, and I swear you have got to keep driving out of that... How? Keep moving, it's not a natural disaster to wait on until it's over....

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Attachments

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Some people just can't get rid of things. We see it in how some hoard a lot of things, stay in toxic relationships, and hopelessly hold on to things that are not really working anymore. I personally hate that though I know I have been there myself and of course wouldn't go through all that if given the chance to redo all those events in my life. Sure, most feisty person would always say that one must not regret any bit of their life as it has contributed to where you are now in a good life kind of context. Yes, my life feels good, but I don't think I would want to go through attachments drama again like I did when I was younger.

It's not being hard on my young self. It is more of having a firm contradiction to the idea of attachments that may seem blissful at first but generally stressful in the long run no matter how you justify it. We all know a friend who falls in love, gives it his/her all, gets his/her heart broken, and feel like the whole world has just crapped on him/her.... And it's just one of the common mistakes we try to submit ourselves to that forbid us to actually see ourselves.

In that case, one sees himself as a broken piece, a half of someone he had just broke up with, or some not-good-enough, self-pitying loser. A lot of people I know think it's the only reasonable way to act after any kind of split-up. I have never been like that. I leave a person if I need to, I accept someone's departure from my life as it's not my decision, and I live on. This attitude of mine has always made some of my close friends hate me. I guess people with clear minds do get some bashing, eh?

Now, what I'm saying here is that, I do not let myself mourn on things I do not have full control of and that I do what I have to do, when I have to do it, and whom I have to do it against. It never hurts me, because I liberate myself in that process most people are afraid of, and why should one be scared of freedom? Take what Madonna said in her not so known biopic called Innocence Lost,

"I take what I need and I move on, and if people can't move with me well then, I'm sorry"

Though frankly, it is never a totally sincere apology, for I don't think one should apologize for his betterment.

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Two of Unkind

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In my philosophy of a good life where you actually see yourself, loneliness and attachments do play as the villains. I believe that these two among other common things that come under them as branches do attack one's mind's clarity. It is a self drag-down one consciously permits, and the failure to actually see yourself begins in that very failure of yourself to open your eyes to how conscious you really are in allowing such infestation of your system.

Do not allow things to hold you back or blind you from the truth about yourself which is what you choose to be. To decide on being a failure of a person is like accepting defeat from life, and life is not supposed to have losers, so do you really want to be one of those? If you don't, just get your ass up and keep moving!

Never forget that life could be good just as how happy I am here in this selfie--by choice.

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img sources:

• Loneliness
• Attachment
• Butterfly