Do you argue often?
When we get into an argument, the ego creates a positionality. This positionality acts as a sort of computer virus in the mind. It begins consuming vast resources and causes other logical structures shut down. The mind locks in on one perceptual position, a.k.a. "I'm right and you need to see it the same way as me." This is incredibly difficult to overcome, especially in the moment when feelings are elevated.
When you notice your feelings are high, this is the perfect time to step away from the conversation, separate yourself from the situation, and go meditate in silence.
In meditation, your mind is going to want to focus on the position. Meaning the content of why you think you're correct. It takes a large amount of focus and surrender to instead concentrate on the big picture. Get your mind to create a concept of the entire positionality it is trying to defend. Instead of listening to the content, connect into the feelings behind the content. Simply use the words to connect deeper with the feelings/emotions. Feel these emotions in your body and in your mind. Each time the mind tries to focus on the content, continually shift the focus to the emotion behind the thoughts.
With work, you can release the emotional pressure creating the positionality. Just as you can do with beliefs, you can shift positionalities and arguments into a higher emotional range. I recommend shifting them into at least neutrality. If the argument is with your significant other or family member, you probably want to shift it all the way into love.
