Happy New Year, Steemit! This is my first post of 2019. My final Instagram post of the year read “I’ve abandoned all expectations for 2019. I’m usually one of these “...this is my year!” assholes. I don’t feel that way this time. I can’t imagine higher highs than I experienced in 2018. Contrastingly, I feel the same about the lows. I’ve been humbled by what this year brought me. My forecast for 2019 is rather pessimistic, but if there’s anything 2018 taught me, it’s that these chapters are part of a long story I won’t understand till the very end.” Parts of that send off are more poignant here on Steemit than even Instagram.

Because of the unprecedented bull run we all enjoyed in 2017 and early 2018, I thought the rest of this year was mapped out entirely. I expected to have a cushion, insulating me from the need to travel, shooting every few weeks. I wanted to work on comic projects with Hive account@ghostfish, like Hive account@coppercoins. The more I fixated on that reality, the more I began to resent my current job as a photographer. After a painfully steady bear market slump, I’m coming around to appreciate my current career in an entirely new way. It’s a job I’m lucky to have. Part of the silver lining perspective that’s come with a humbling crpyto-market.

I wasn’t able to meet all of my goals by midnight on December 31st. I planned to finish my remaining Viva Las Vegas clients by the end of the year. There were some circumstances beyond my control, so I’m not beating myself up about it too bad. My end of the year stressors were minimized by crises that several close friends have been experiencing and I chose to be present as a support system for them. That took time and patience, and cut in to what I could realistically accomplish by 2019. I did, however, close my Wells Fargo account, and delete Facebook. Both promises I made myself.

I spent the day in my usual spot at Hive account@caffetto, finally getting back to a routine. Hive account@vermillionfox and I both logged six hours of time writing, drawing and editing. My New Year pessimism was briefly sustained by the productivity I’ve been missing these past few weeks. I managed to dedicate the entire night to finishing photos of Midwest pinup model, Ginny Rosewater. She’s one of the spokeswomen for Hive account@wcpublishing, the publishers of my book, Dark Pinup. I love how these turned out and I think a NSFW post my first Steemit blog of 2019 is a statement that there are good things to come.

I’m looking forward to more days like this. Productive, meaningful hours working towards goals that are realistic, rewarding and obtainable. There’s a lot of disruption in my [our] lives right now. I’m trying to roll with the punches and just accept the volatility and the lessons from current hardships. We’re all overdue for a reading from Hive account@tarotbyfergus. Whatever this year throws at me, I’ll have so much to share. Thanks for the continued support. For more photography, art, illustration and the stories behind the work, follow me here at Hive account@kommienezuspadt!

Contemplating the past year while facing the New Year!