Okay, I'll finally admit it. After the fork I kind of gave up in some regards on getting things done. In some ways I started to get caught up but in others I stayed stagnant or even fell behind. Steemit is one of those things I feel I've fallen behind on. While I've been posting I'll admit it's been hard to muster the enthusiasm I usually have for sharing posts. It's been a stressful few months and after overworking myself during the fork (my own fault, terribly behind on the fork making myself terribly behind on everything else) it was hard to muster willpower to do anything.

My days currently consist of taking care of my chickens, attempting to start a new garden, crochet, cooking and posting on Steemit. Like everyone else I have those days where I just don't want to do anything. I used to spend my days doing honestly nothing but sitting, reading, doing school work and the like. Life is very different and I'm honestly grateful, I used to be so bored.

And honestly I had a lot of anxiety at that time. I had many interests but was heavily schooled into believing i had to just pick one, that there was something up with me if I wanted to bounce around to interests. My family said I didn't stick to anything and when they said that I believed them. Honestly had they said nothing I likely would have come back to those things instead of abandoning them like I often did.

I've now learned to embrace the fact that I have many interests but that doesn't stop me from feeling overwhelmed from time to time. I'll be the first to admit that I have likely taken on too many interests, but have a hard time dropping them because they're so damn useful and fun.

And honestly I'd rather learn a new hobby and have something else to juggle (like I recently did with crocheting) than have nothing to do.

It's been a long time to get to this point but now I am finally gaining confidence in my ability to learn new things. This isn't to say I don't struggle. I'm prone to asking bad questions (not helpful to me, they don't give me the information I'm actually looking for and my google foo is non-existant. I often find myself telling John I cannot find information on something when he's able to find it with one three word google search. Simple things like that.

Something I've been hearing a lot of anarchists touching on lately is the importance of fixing ourselves before we can fix the world. It's hard to not see the value in that. Actually fixing ourselves and facing our personal demons is a totally different thing from talking about it as many people know. It's just not that easy to do. Hard on the ego!

It's not easy to admit we've been doing things wrong but I'm starting to see it's the only way to start doing things right. So I'm here to admit I've been doing a lot of things wrong (things wrong being things we don't like behaviours, habits actions) guys and I'm ready to start finding more ways to do things right.

Who's with me?

I'm interested in changing things because while my life is awesome I'm not happy and I'm starting to realize that's a personal problem, not a life problem.