You write (narratively) in what I call "poetic prose" (grammatically and syntactically correct prosaic sentences that utilize poetic devices to augment effect). So do I but we employ different poetic devices. One of the curious things I noticed about your narrative writing is the frequent use of very short "bullet sentences." It creates a "staccato effect" which results in forced pauses ... which is interesting as I've long posited that the "power of poetry" is in the pause. Controlling the pause can dramatically change that way our brains process incoming information. (Incidentally, Hemingway frequently wrote using this staccato technique). And, as is common in poetry, your narrative style frequently appeals to non-auditory sensory stimuli ... visual, olfactory and tactile.

As I read your extract I was consciously aware of, and a bit surprised by, the unusual way my brain was processing what I was reading and it was subtle enough that I had to go back a re-read it to figure out why.

Very interesting craftsmanship. Kudos.

Quill