One of the very few photos I took last year
Is there such a thing as a photographer's version of writer's block? Would that be a photographer's block? What causes it? And more importantly: what is the cure?
I noticed it during the second half of my first year of school. It was harder to get the assignments done. I blamed winter and darkness and started my second year. I informed my teacher the main goal for me would be to focus on the fun part of photography and less on the assignments. My classmates nodded understandingly when I told them about my recent disinterest in my camera: "I've been there, it made me skip half a year", some said. Some admitted struggling with the same. I assumed it would become better during spring.
It became summer and the evaluation of the half-year got closer and closer. Normally this would be the point that the stress of the deadline would kick in with a massive productivity boost as a result. I remained empty-handed and gave up. I decided to quit school for the time being.
The stress and pressure (and limitations) of the assignments in combination with the need to fail, experiment, and discover myself is not the best situation. The experimentation I can do without school, I told myself. I went to a cyanotype workshop and signed up for the experimental photo festival in Barcelona. For the workshop that I planned on having at the festival, I needed an undeveloped analog film.
Shopping is easy!! So I got an old Pentax K1000 and some film. All I needed to do was grab the camera and walk around a little for some photos... I delayed, and I delayed... Until 1 day before the workshop. I left the hotel, did a quick stroll through the neighborhood, and was somehow happy that it was only a 24-photo film.
The workshop was interesting. I developed my film with instant coffee and vitamin C. Most of the scratches are caused by my struggle to get the film into the tank. We also experimented with lumen prints and some chemicals along the way. The festival was a massive playground of alternative techniques that I was eager to discover further. So I did what I do best: I started collecting all the stuff that I needed! My house is now stuffed with papers, inks, paint, crystals, chemicals, you name it...
I told myself that I should explore multiple different alternative photo techniques and share my stories here on Hive. Now, half a year later, I am still telling myself to do that. (I still think it is a good idea!!)
So if this opportunity to experiment isn't exciting enough for me to actually get started, what else is there? Should I go back to basics? How do I find joy again? Throughout the years, I have always enjoyed documenting my travels with my camera. Since I travel alone, it is my way to communicate and interact with my friends that didn't join. In 2022 I went on a number of trips. At first, I brought all my full camera gear with me and hardly touched it. On my last trip to Croatia, the tripod and many lenses were left at home. The only photos that I took were selfies and quick snaps on my phone. And I don't even really regret it!
This year, I noticed that my camera started "feeling" too heavy to freely walk around with. And mind you, my camera is far from heavy!! I guess it was already hard enough to just bring myself along for the ride, let alone the camera...