Please be advised: Strong sarcastic language.
Alrighty then. In this post, I’ll be giving you some free tips, out of the ‘one-man-one-jar’ hemorrhoids-jar to improve your smartphone photography instantly and drastically, amazing right. And I mean, you will be a God among Nokia 3210 holders after reading and infusing these tips into your photography skills. So, you got this fancy Smartphone in your pocket and you wonder why you take photographs like a hobo?
#### You must be wondering how much Steem you have to pay to get access to this amazing content right?
Oke, if you opt-in today, I will offer this one-day-and-after-7-day-stuck-in-the-blockchain deal to you for not even half the price!!!!!!
NO! You pay nothing! It’s absolutely free of charge!?! WOOOW, I must be crazy right?! I am, but really guys, it’s just smartphone photography, it would be stupid to even try to sell this, you can find this shit on the internet, it’s called Google.
Anyway… forget that.
Coughs up the rest of the sarcasm that’s stuck in this post.
As a professional photographer, I’m a savage when it comes to criticizing my own photographs. I tend to get a bit crazy there as well, the silly goose that I am. I can count the photographs I’m proud of on one hand, and that my young Padawan’s, is my strongest hand. My weak left hand I barely use. But when I do, it’s to eat and drink at the same time.
First things first. Do you know the camera of your smartphone? Do you know what you’re doing? No? Then you might as well have skipped the first part and scrolled to this part right away. Jeez... you're being inefficient already. Enough with the nonsense, let’s obliterate your current poor smartphone skills and turn them into a skillset where you can be proud of. When I want a better understanding of the limits of my camera I test out different lighting conditions and push my camera to the extreme limits so I know how far I can push my camera and I would know exactly what is ‘acceptable’ for me and what isn’t. This factor can be different for everyone. But remember, forget your old hobo photographer-self, you’re going to become a God in smartphone photography.Get to know your smartphone camera settings.
When you have a fancy phone the first thing you want to do, is to check if it has a pro-setting. Or you might want to download an App to manually control your camera. This will be pretty handy when it comes to exposure and other challenging lighting conditions.
If you do not have a pro-setting where you can manually adjust your camera settings, there are apps you have to pay for in your app store.
Activate the Grid
I am using a Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge and I always use a grid when it comes down to taking photographs with my smartphone. Working with a grid is a must if you want to align your photographs with the horizon of that majestic sunset you’re about to take. Working with a grid allows you to execute the Rule of Thirds as well. I will probably do more posts about learning photography in the future.
Clean your lens.
Or wear ultra clean pants, or bra (yeah ladies, I know you hide your shit there, and there are cookie crumbles). It doesn’t really matter when you do it, just make sure you always clean your lens before taking a photograph. Your phone is constantly in your pocket and I don’t want to know what you else you put in your pocket. But most probably it will leave dust particles.
Find the best light source available.
70% of a photography is all about light. Turning one lightbulb on or off can make a huge difference. Find the best way to use the currently available light source. It can be a huge impact on the subject whether you photograph behind, in front or directly into a light source.
Don’t flash.
Please. Don’t use camera-flash and share this on the internet. Especially make sure it’s not getting stuck on the blockchain.
Use apps.
So you have taken yourselves some pretty tight, hoochie mama, ‘NOW THAT SHIT IS TIGHT’ photographs. Actually, come back to your senses: it’s probably just an oké/half-chopped-off-thumb-up/decent photograph that could use a bump of hardcore smartphone-app editing. There are tons of editing apps available in your App store. If you don’t use Instagram, you can still use the Instagram custom filter to get that finishing touch going on, that will make every Nokia 3210 hodling fwend spit rainbows and confetti while doing a moonwalk when you show the results to them.
-Instagram
-VSCO
Walk instead of zooming.
Don’t use the zoom on your camera. Why? It is not an optical zoom, but a digital zoom. What is optical zoom and what is digital zoom? Optical is adjusting the glass of a lens in a way that it will let you magnify your object. Digital zooming is just zooming in, in the information you already have maxed out. Enlarging your photograph, in the end, might give you even a better result. Whenever you shoot with a smartphone and you want something closer. Either use your legs or add some extra clip-on optics you can buy on Amazon.
Some cool clip-on optics for your Smartphone
You’re holding your phone wrong.
Most people tilt their phone downwards while taking a photograph. No wonder selfies are so popular amongst the millennials. But if you would lower your point of view without tilting your phone. Now tap on your subject to focus and you might see some magic happening. The magic that is called: MEFDoF (More Extra Free Depth of field).
Stabilize your camera.
Technology is crazy these days. Most up-to-date smartphone lenses have a 5-axis stabilization already inside it. Like.. wtf? What stabilization does for you, is helping you to shoot images with less motion blur when you’re making that dick pic with the macro clip-on optics you just bought while jerking off. However, if you do not own such a fancy smartphone, you might as well throw it out of the window. Dick pics are hot in 2018, and no one wants to see a blurred pic of that, m’kay? O wait, we can always use the timer function! My strongest hand almost forgot. But my strongest hand is very still as well. Hold your breath whenever you push the button and don’t shake because you can’t breathe.
Be patient.
Photography can be very time-consuming. Charge your batteries before you’re going to shoot in the wild. Sunsets and sunrises here in the Netherlands will probably last 30-40 minutes, so you got to be patient, and fast when you have to be.
Congratulations, you’ve just excelled in smartphone photography. If you liked this post please leave an up-vote and leave a comment down below. Make sure to drop a follow if you’d like to see and learn more about photography.
Photo contest - Win 5 SBD
Make a creative photograph with your smartphone.
Rules
-Use a smartphone only
-Original Work
-Make your own blog post and link it in the comments on this post
-Must be sharp
-No pre-set filters
-Winner picked at Pay-out date
Most creative photograph wins.
Mention 
Entries
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- Wolv'sEntry
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*At least 10 people should join the contest.