Last year at this time, we were waiting for our little girl to arrive. We knew it was a little girl from the structural ultrasound. She was in a position that it was quite obvious for all, even the untrained parents in the room. I would have been happy with a boy too but, I feel like I would be a better father for a girl.
I have always had better relationships with women because I am probably more interested in them too. Women in some ways are much more complicated than men and harder to 'understand'. It may not actually be so but from my position, this is how it appears to me.
Some people want equality between the sexes, for me, I actually think that would be a negative. I am not talking about pay distribution and glass ceilings, but the difference between masculine and feminine creates a polarity and tension that both draws and repels. It is this constant push and pull that helps make each pole consider, create and evolve. The homogenisation of the sexes would be a loss of a core diversity that I see as vital for our development.
Each sex has their differing biology and this creates varying problems in experience and therefore, differing vantage points of the same things. This can be used as a creative force where all sides come together and bring their generalized talents. But, each person within the generalization is also an individual with a diversified portfolio of skills, perspectives and ideas. Binding an individual to any group and limiting their voice based upon the judgement is an act of violence.
The way I am approaching the raising of my daughter is to help her understand and develop her unique skills as an individual and the wisdom to understand that part of who she is lays within her as a woman. What that means for her, that is up to her and it is her job to discover the relevancy or irrelevancy as she answers the question, 'Who am I?'. Not society's, an activist's or a misogynist's opinion about who they think she is.
I don't get into gender equality arguments very often although I think I will add some commentary or questions from time to time in the future. What I don't like about it though is that when talking about gender issues, men are not allowed to comment and are seen as the cause of the problems. This to me is what is slowing down the discussion immensely and pushing into the bounds of censorship of free speech. Another discrimination that people fought hard to try to abolish earlier.
I don't have much of this worked out yet but, if I am to help raise a strong woman, shouldn't I have my voice and concerns heard too? Shouldn't I also be a part of the discussion? People see that there is conflict between men and women, that it is us against them. I think it is just us being foolish rather than wise. Highly educated ignorance.
Taraz
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