courtesy Allen Thompson
- She's a chronic complainer.
She nitpicks over the least important things in life such as a cup left on the dining room table or a crumb found on the carpet.
Things will only get worse with this type of woman because she's an obsessive clean freak. Avoid this type.
- She can't cook.
If her mother didn't teach her to cook then you're in trouble. Later on, you'll be cooking for her. Avoid this type of a woman as if she were the plague.
- She has ten credit cards in her purse.
And she wants to know how much money you earn.
Later, she'll want to open a joint account with you at your bank. You get to watch all your money disappear and she'll deny that she ever spent it.
- She feels superior and entitled.
She's a woman and you owe her everything for being born into that species. She poses on a pedestal and wants you to adore you.
Do a Michelangelo and get your mallet out. You'll need to chip into that egocentric piece of Venus De Milo until she has one arm.
- She's vain.
She wastes hours in the bathroom in the morning trying to look good and hours in the bathroom in the evening getting ready to look good for the next day.
The question is... who is she trying to look good for? It certainly must not be you. Buy a master lock for the bathroom and hide the key.
- She resembles her mother and her mother is obese and ugly.
Like mother like daughter genetically speaking. Expect a scary nightmare to occur in the future. A very scary one.
- She likes to watch action movies with women superheroes.
She admires how they beat men down to their own size. She can do anything a man can do and better, so she thinks.
Cash her in for a good Clint Eastwood movie.
- She doesn't have a dress in her closet.
Check her closet out. If you find a pair of combat boots in there, ten pairs of Levis, and countless things that men wear, then you're in trouble.
She's more masculine than feminine and she thinks she has balls. She'll eventually want to pick a fight with you or kick your butt.
- She's an excessive telephone chatterer.
She rants on in front of you while you are watching an important TV program. If you want to communicate with her the battery must be taken out of the cell phone and hidden.
You should always be the main topic of conversation. Know this.