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The Courage to say No to Desperate In-laws
Getting married to a hardworking, and successful young man is the dream of every young lady. In the same way, every hardworking and successful young man also dreams of getting married to a young, vibrant, beautiful, and well-mannered young lady. When these two things are combined in marriage, it is expected that such marriage will be the epitome of success and honor.
But then, most of the marriages which were supposed to reflect honor on both the young man and young lady, do not, as most of them are unable to say no to desperate in-laws and their demands. What am I really trying to talk about in this article? The exploitative nature of some tribes and families when giving away their daughters in marriage.
Mostly in the marriage of the girl to the man she wants to marry, the in-laws have a field day and allow their exploitative natures to drive the marriage issues, while the poor lady is left to deal with the challenges that come with those greedy acts afterwards in the marriage. Sometimes the in-laws make life a living hell for the new son-in-law with the uncontrollable and oppressive demands.
One of the characteristics of some tribes and families in some places is that they take the marriage of their daughters as a business venture. As a result of this, the boy and his families will have all the miserable experience trying to satisfy the in-laws, while their unfortunate daughter will then spend the rest of her life with the man of her choice in a living hell. Even with the fact that the boy loves the girl he married, deep down in his heart, he feels like the girl's family have sold their daughters and will not have anything to do with her after the marriage.
There are several instances where men who refuse to help their wives relatives or support their wives' families because of how they were treated by their in-laws when they married their wives. I heard a story when a man openly told his wife in the face that the money he would have spent in support was taken when he paid the bride price. Such cases abound in society because of desperate in-laws and their demands. After a family have exploited a son-in-law by demanding that he pay even more than enough for the bride price, you can guess how the man would feel. The man will feel as if he is being raped by his in-laws and all in all will do anything to avoid them and keep away from them.
Not too long ago, a case of a man to pay the pride price for the woman he wants to marry. He was seriously ordered by his in-laws to pay 3 million Naira, which would amount to 2000 US Dollars, for the bridal materials and another 2000 Dollars as his dowry to his wife. He stood against the demand, but he eventually agreed to bow and so, he produced this money. Furthermore, he was required to pay 1,000 Dollars because the woman's family have waited for long to get him aboard, begging for his forgiveness. He also produced the money for that; just when he tried to finalize all payments at once, they hit him hard again demanding more money, which he said he could not stand accepting. They had proposed a whopping five thousand dollars for every expense the family has footed on training and feeding their dear daughter up to this day when she is given to him.
Adding to that, precisely at the point when the man may have felt "I have had enough," the killer in-laws demand that he pay 1000 Dollars for bride price because he had the lady pregnant; he felt he couldn't take it anymore, and excused himself like he wanted to go out to urinate, and from there escape and leave the woman behind with all the relatives.
Such a case was so unique and had persisted because of desperate in-laws and their exploitation about their daughters' marriage scenario. It would be very wrong of us to say that such cases were unknown. Such in-laws and their desperations put the child, the daughter's life, in jeopardy. Because if some reason arises, therefore, that she might want to walk out of such a marriage, the man may kill her because of the huge amount of money he spent for marrying the woman.
Any tradition or culture involving those sorts of things brings in nothing else than stagnation to the advancement of civilisation; what they have is poison to the society. I would advise men to be courageous and shun wicked in-laws' demands that are beyond modesty. No man would like to have a family line of debt. How could a man ever say "I do?" without knowing so much about his wife's family?
If a man is desirous of marrying, he should first of all take time to get to be studied about the background of his in-laws, and they should assure themselves that they are able to get on quite well with the family of the bride. This should be due to the fact that some families have gone to drastic measure by making men their life support because that they were marrying their daughters.
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