From the moment I first laid eye on her
I knew she was my one and only Krill. This is real, no way is this just guppy love.
Our story picks up on the night I first saw BlueBerry Krill
singing on stage in Shadow’s Saloon. I’ve never been the kind to have a roving eye but when I saw that Krill it was like I was paralyzed by a pufferfish. I felt a little clammy even though the water in the Saloon was very comfortable. The humidity seemed a little high. Even my WhaleAle seemed a little dry.
All I knew is that BlueBerry Krill was my one and only. There’s only one problem with that. Well, okay, there are many problems, but the first one being I wasn’t her one and only. Not yet anyway. And she didn’t even know me and we had never spoken! But I felt myself get up from my table and move towards the stage.
I could hardly feel my tentacles I was so mesmerized.
I just kept getting closer. She just kept singing, krilling me softly with her song. I thought I heard something behind me but I wasn’t paying any attention. I only had eye for BlueBerry Krill. I thought I heard Shadows yelling at me from behind the bar to close my mouth before a Clown Fish swam in it. But I could barely hear her. It was like she was talking under water.
Little did I know trouble was brewing.
I had no idea that an Orca from another town was staying the night in PlankTown, and he had plans of his own for BlueBerry Krill. I seem to remember Shadow’s yelling earlier, ‘Hey d’Orca you want another round?’ He would just nod and never take his eyes off of BlueBerry Krill. But he was speaking now. Incessantly. Totally ruining my groove.
Finally his voice broke through my pufferfish toxin trance and I heard him clearly say, ‘Get out of the way plank or I’ll knock you thorax over exoskeleton. I didn’t even turn around. I just flipped him a tentacle and kept on listening to BlueBerry Krill sing. She was like an angel fish but more like a beautiful red haired krill. The krill of my dreams. d’Orca kept on yammering something about, ‘Move out of the way, last warning. You’re dumb as a plank are you deaf too?’ I couldn’t care less.
Then suddenly, the Saloon exploded into action
and d’Orca jumped me from behind. All of a sudden I was in a fight for my life as that Orca tried to bite me in half. I poked him in both eyes with my tentacles, spun behind him and kicked him in his caudal peduncle as hard as I could. That shocked him because I don’t even think he was expecting me to fight back. But seriously d’Orca? Of course I’m going to fight for the Krill of my dreams!
That Orca turned like a swordfish and came at me with all he had, slashing with his fins and chomping with his huge mouth full of teeth. I was backstroking as fast as I could when suddenly all the Mixed Plankton Arts my GrandPlank taught me kicked in. I knew I wasn’t just fighting for myself or my BlueBerry Krill. I was fighting for every plank who has ever been bullied by an Orca.
Not tonight buddy I yelled and I jumped him
like a wild salmon, slapping with my tentacles and spinning out of his attacks like a sailfish. I could hear d’Orca’s surprised grunt at the ferocity of my attack and I could tell how shocked he was that I even fought back at all. And I saw something in his eyes in that moment. Something my GrandPlank always told me to look for in a fight.
I saw fear. And I watched as his pride and ego took over and I could hear my GrandPlank’s voice saying, ‘That’s what you wait for Plankie, that moment when they attack in a blind rage.’ And attack he did, and in a blind rage too just like GrankPlank said he would. But something happened in that moment that I was not expecting. Suddenly that Orca was holding a flag. A flag!!! In PlankTown!!
NO FLAGS ARE ALLOWED IN PlankTown!!
Only a morphologist could possibly guess where d’Orac was hiding that flag, but there it was, and coming at me in the blink of my eye. Again my GrandPlank’s training kicked in and I heard his voice saying don’t panic when things go sideways. They most always will. You just concentrate and do what I taught you to do.
I blew all the water out of my mouth like a jet stream and threw myself backwards. I could see the flag just pass above my eye as I laid back and I kicked at it hard and it flew across the room like something straight out of the PlankTrix. The flag tumbled through the saloons water filled room and knocked Sheriff Globi’s hat right off his head.
I had not seen him come into the Saloon while I had my tentacles full with d’Orca. Before you could blink Sheriff Globi drew his flag canon and blasted all six flags into that Orca and you could just see the steem come out of him. The heat from Globi’s .45 caliber Flag Canon began to boil the water touching the barrel, letting off more steem as Globi muttered, ‘Let off some steem big guy.’ Shadows grabbed d'Orca from behind and Globi jumped on me.
Poor BlueBerry Krill,
when I looked over she was so scared and had stopped singing. But she did give me a tiny wave and a little smile and I could see her mouth the words, ‘Sea you later alligator.’ That just made my night. I knew I had to go to the town jail but I didn’t care.
I also knew my MinnowMama wouldn’t be too happy, but my GrankPlank would be proud I had stood up for myself. He’s been through every flag war there’s ever been since before he worked on the BlockChain Gang. Anything that swims in the ocean could only wish to be half as cool as my GrandPlank! Thank goodness for all those moons he spent training me. Otherwise I’d be an h’Orca d’oeuvre.
I knew Globi was having trouble holding me back
but I decided to just calm down and go chill out in the local lockup and not cause any more trouble. I’m sure the local OrcaStrate would sort it all out in the morning and everyone in the joint saw that Orca jump me. I wasn’t too worried. Besides, Globi is my cousin LOL.
I Flagged The Law
Breakin' rocks in the low tide sun
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the law won
I needed that honey 'cause I had none
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the law won
I miss my Krill and I feel so sad
I guess my flags are done
She's the best Krill that I ever had
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the
Flaggin’ orcas with a six-gun
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the law won
I lost my Krill and I lost my fun
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the law won
I miss my Krill and I feel so sad
I guess my flags are done
She's the best Krill that I ever had
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the law won
I flagged the law and the
PlankTown™
Artwork & Animation by~ Nina Helene Hirten
©All characters, images, text, video are the sole property of&
and may only be used with express written permission.
All stunts performed by their respective characters
No Orcas were harmed in the making of this GIF
