Day 131:My Experiment
Nov 24, 2018
People-Pleasing
Most of us want to act kindly towards others. This isn’t original. It is simply the way we get along with each other. That said people-pleasing that relinquishes integrity is an offense to the sacrosanct. The sacredness of integrity with our selves once betrayed begets conflict, resentment, anger, vengeance, regret, and bitterness. Lies that are lived into consciously do not betray the sacred. The lies that are defended with cowardice, guilt, and fear accrue heavy costs on our souls.
Rigid people-pleasing arises from a lack of courage to live into the truth, e.g.: for fear of hurting the other or being hurt. Ultimately such behaviour is to control the other and/or the outcome. Obviously the latter is a very false, malicious, and deceptive way to please others wrapped in a smile.
The Queen in sleeping beauty disguises herself as a kindly old woman. She hands a shiny apple laced with poison to Snow White. How often an apparent kindness is toxic: “My child has to learn, so I spank him.” “Everything I do, I do for you.” “I love you. Promise me you will stay with me forever.” “I love you more than myself.” “You make me happy.” “I could not live without you.” These heavy burdens are laid on the shoulders of children. Of course the parent acquired the same burdens in their childhood. Fears, cowardice, guilt are handed down generation to generation.