When I was a child there were words of wisdom I was taught:

Sticks and stones may break My bones, but words will never hurt Me.

And indeed, I learned that I choose how I feel about what Others say.  I can take Others' words and choose to feel angry, hurt, or any other emotion.  I can choose to laugh.  I can choose to ignore the words...

Trying to pass My responsibility onto the speaker is a poor choice...  "You made Me (choose to) feel hurt!  It's all Your fault that I (chose to) hit You!"  Seriously.