Plenty of stuff seems normal to me because I have nothing to compare it to. There was no space that was safe for me to learn other than online until I started interacting with trans woman in real life.
I had no realistic therapist until I met Lily. She understood so much of my life, with no effort, that no one else had before: lack of privacy, independence, and the intense scrutiny placed on every action a trans kid does.
She saved me from the gates of hell that I was dead set on entering by using her academic privilege for love rather than consumerism or violence. She’s incredibly smart; lovely lily.
She worked together with Chelsea Manning to figure out what was going on in my life — with the help of Lil Uzi Vert.
When I failed to murder Lily despite thinking she had just sexually assaulted Chelsea Manning while we were playing DnD with Lil Uzi Vert we all realized I had been wrong about me: I’m a pacifist. I was not put on this earth to destroy; creator.
They took time to understand what I was actually capable of rather than relying on gossip. They didn’t give up on me like so many others had. They all recognized how dangerously close to the edge I had lived my entire life and yet still managed to avoid becoming exactly what this system wants those who do become; unsweetened Tea.
They managed to get enough information about who I actually was, online, to show me how much they all loved me with their actions instead of their words. They provided the most comfortable therapy environment for a programmer: Winamp, Vaporwave, and Microsoft™ Word. They managed to actually provide therapy for me through communal love and music; girl grooves.
I love them so much for all of the work they put into saving me from my chains.