Bent isn't Broken:
Perpetual paradigms, partial purposelessness, peppered pessimism permeated my mind.
I've never wanted the light of lime,
I want to be the furthest from egotism, though I never found the time.
Remembering a half-built house, splashing the coldest of water on my face.
Somehow it was the saving grace to keep me in this space-place.
I love the cold now, I was always too scared to follow through.
Suicide still resides in the way of passive activities daily - action never taken,
I thought my seatbelt would always stayed fastened, but I'm mistaken - I still find sometimes I'm unbuckled
Respectively I was 12 and 15 the only times I've contemplated ending my life out of perceived strife.
Theres something comforting in thinking your in control of the means to your end.
With no one around me who could admit they feel the same, my emotions I couldn't lend.
Presently, I'm ecstatic for the lowest I'd ever be, for it allowed me to never lack juxtaposition to the apogee.
Such thoughts lack the whole view from outside of you,
Sparing your suffering for the dividing, multipling and exponentiating of output upon the last of breathe you take, and diversifying your anguish amongst your loved ones.
---On my expeniences with depression and suicidal thoughts at a young age, luckly I seldom feel that way anymore.
Always reach out to loved ones if you ever need someone to talk to or seek professional help if need be. Always practice have more empathy!
The picture is from a GoPro while I visited Costa Rica, I will have more photos up shortly!
Thanks for reading/following!