The loop of thousand chats at once. It forms my senses to react. I am not involved in any one. The world around me is my mirror. Reflections of emotions formed my being. I grow, I die, I grow, I die.. Emotions rise. I love, I hate, I love, I hate... Is this a game? The loop is still the same. Is life supposed to be this tricky game? My ego forms something I have to hate. Accept or hate, accept or hate. This stupid game. I never chose to play. I'm grateful I come in to this vulnerable state. I realized I don't hate me. I hate my ego. It is two separate conscious beings. Until this moment I spent all years being a slave. Locked in this loop of fear. The hate I thought everyone had on me. Was mine not yours. I'm sorry. I chose the easy way. Felt into this fear state. I hid, I ran, I hid, I ran. I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate...
I hate my ego. It's him who took away the bliss. It's him who tricked me. He teach the game is fear. He said just hate and act in fear - it's how we love in here. He tricked judging myself is constructively good. It's him who blocked all promising beautiful connections. It's him who got hurt and tried to "protect us". We all are one. Not separated. We all are hurt. Not hating. He made us be this isolated. Looped only his reflections. The world I thought I hate it's only his projection. And so I run to look into the mirror. I know I feel in love with this new beautiful being. I need to stare, I need to feel, I need to see him. I felt this joy this rush I never seen him.. my eyes, my hair, my skin... I love it. I don't feel hate, I just don't care of what has happened. It's all ok and I chose the acceptance. I let it all go. I let it all sink. I felt the bliss of being me. I love myself with all my heart and no artificiality.
I finally can spread the goodness of it all. The selfishness of all this is beautiful and universal. Because we all are secretly connected. Loving myself is loving you. The answer is so close don't look that far. Because the world is just reflection. We all are builders of these realistic projections. This state, this moment brought me into tears. I cry. But finally not because of hurt or fear. The tears that drop are full of love. I smile and want someone to hug. Come here you beautiful being. I want you. I want me. I want us to be here. To feel it. I want to spread this moment. I want to share this feeling.
That separation - it felt right. It definitely don't hurt. He wasn't right. I definitely don't die. He dies. Persistently been told "We all are separate", "They all bring pain", "Don't give no chance to them, be artificial". And ego puts us into this huge maze. Of judgmental blame. The fear. The hate. We all once felt hurt and he came to protect us. We should realize and play completely different game. We trick ourselves this conscious being is a part of us. Because he knows we all can murder him. He plays our minds in such a way. You feel discussed. You feel a fear of disconnection. So you accept. And choose to be tied to his rules and his game. You walk with crowds and all of you belong to each of your ego maze.
I dumped my ego and it felt right. My ego died. Reflections suddenly all changed. The fakery scattered into pieces. I felt pure love not fear and hate. I didn't judgmentally blame. I see how all before was just artificiality. The world ain't bad. It's a beautiful place. We all are here to play this same tricky game. And I accept today everyone's state. Don't judge, don't hate. I chose to play a different game. I'm out of this ego-build maze.
But I come back. I cannot see others suffer this pain. Being in this loop of universal ego maze. I'll come and walk with you and your ego. I'll communicate. I'll show you glimpse of true pure bliss. Will sacrifice my time my energy. And it will drain me hard I know that. But pain will lead to happiness eventually. I know one moment we'll be out of here. I love myself so much. This means I love you same. I'l grab your hand and walk with you to a beautiful place. No matter how long your ego fights. My vision pure and formed of love. Which makes me immutable to any bullshit. I see thoroughly all of your artificiality. You wear so many masks. He wears them. He hides your true self. And it's just time until he surrender. And you will run to see the mirror. You'll want to see that beautiful being. You'll feel the bliss of being you. You'll love yourself. You'll cry of joy and you'll accept all wrong. I'll cry of joy knowing your state. My heart will get a rush of love. Because we both are same. I feel your love. I feel your pain.
And since we out of that artificial ego-made bullshit maze. We both enjoy this state. But I will walk back into it. Will walk back to help another being slaved. And you can choose to come with me or wait, observe and stay. Enjoy this beautiful state . I will appreciate any decision you will make. But my path remains the same. And I hope you come along . And we walk back together into that ego filled world an help to show someone a way out.