That photo alone without any words is striking enough. It takes my mind to that place of thought. Scenes like that always do.

I don't know why... I guess I could point to things in life, but I don't know why some of us have those automatic thoughts, or that sort of internal mood, while others don't. I know it feels like a background noise that will never go away, though. And it's not like a terror that haunts, so much as a comfort that's there beckoning, welcoming. It's something inside that wants peace, maybe a restart, a clean slate. I'm not sure, but it doesn't seem to go away beyond being hushed to quieter for a while, before it always reminds you it's still there.

To channel it into music is a good thing. I think it's maybe a more common thing than many realize. I think a lot of music (and surely some of the most striking music) likely gets written from that kind of coping, among others. Music heals and releases things inside you that you have no other way to express.

I remember watching a documentary one time about the Golden Gate Bridge that retold some stories of jumpers there. I felt a connection to those people. And as dark as it might sound, even to watch them in the act, the struggle and then the release from that struggle. It's such a mix of emotion that it brings. It very much not entertainment and I didn't take it as such. But... I guess I just understand something about what would drive a person to do that. It's dark, it's black. It's very very black, but at the same time it's a complete release. So as much as I hate that someone's path would come to that, I feel like I understand why they'd do it.

But life is so short as it is, and I guess for me I've channeled those feelings in a way that I can manage, until I can't, and then I adjust to find a way again. It's like a dark poetry that always lives in the back of your mind, walks with you, writing over everything you ever experience. And honestly, I'm not sure I'd know how to react to experiencing anything different, it's just so familiar. So I find comfort in the thought when I need to, but otherwise I go on.

I do wonder when people finally decide to do such a thing, how long has it been, how long did they cope, and how tired they must have been? You truly can't ever know someone else's internal world. And I think something we don't like to admit as a society, or allow people to claim is that for some it's a literal living hell they live with inside of themselves, and instead of hating them for leaving maybe we should see reason to commend them for enduring what they did for so long. None of us survive life as it is, some just need to leave early. They need, there's no other explanation I can think of, barring the few who truly are insane. And that's another thing - we call it an irrational act. I really don't think so. I think it's maybe one of the most honest and rationally thought out there can be for some. Years and years and years of thought and struggle with it.

And I'm in no way saying I believe it's an ideal answer. It's not. I want people to stay and find a way to enjoy the short time they have. But it's also a fact that I respect and accept that some just can't find reason anymore. And that's their ultimate right. Really poignant photo and words, though, you've shared. Life means so much and in such a quick second it can mean absolutely nothing. I guess we stick around to carve out more of that meaning while we still have the option to.

There's beauty in the light and the dark, and I see so much unfortunate beauty in the blackest of things. Maybe we should feel special that we're the ones life has made able to see it, in places where others might lose vision or not even know a way to respond to such complete loss of hope - unable to keep their sanity intact - and then, even more, feel proud that we can find a way to appreciate the darkness in life as something beautiful. Like it's an honorable skill you earn from living and then surviving.

There's beauty in the coping with pain. It shows in the person who does it as much as it does in their art, or music, or whatever things it leads them to create. The Verses of the Damned - have to find respect for whatever it is that leads you to keep writing them. I think there's a reason, even if it's mostly personal, there is. Maybe that pain of that darkness is the one strongest motivational thing leading you forward, as much as it could be the thing leading you over the bridge someday. People simply fight until they can't anymore.