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I hate that I am weak
Must it always be me?
I look up to heaven and wonder where God was
When he decided to deprive my world of joy.
Or was it the forces of this world
Or perhaps the demons of the next
Either one I need an answer or I just might explode.
Ha ha
I have already exploded,
And my hope drowned a long time ago
Why was I made weak?
Why must I always fall?
Where is my equilibrium!
Where did my mental balance go!
I hear what you say, I am just not listening
I see what you do, I am just not ready to believe.
Somebody chain me
Anybody who loves me
Quickly!
No one?
Quickly!
None?
Perhaps I’ll chain myself
I want to rid myself of this world
I need to rid this world of me.
This fall I do not know how to deal with
Is anybody listening?
This is a cry for help
My hands make the smoke signal
My lips blow the trumpets
Quickly!
Someone might hear us
I am drowning
I am burning
I am dying.
Slowly slowly…
Was there really no one?
My fingers dancing vigorously above the water line
But the rest of me long gone
Save us now
Oh where are you my comforter?
Make it stop
Can you make it end?
Make the lies end
Make the misuse end
Make the disrespect end
Make the tormentors disappear
Make the molester’s burn
Make them all fade
Or take me away.
I want to drift into nonexistence
I want my space
That place opened to just me
I want to be purged of the misery and disappointments of this world
Take me now!
There is nothing to mend
This fall has torn the strings of falls I buried
And they are feeding on my sanity
All at once.
So you’ll take me?
I am ready
There’s nothing left for me here.