my travel dreams are progressing. the most recent - of course, i was packing. i was going out of the country. i am currently out of the country. i had a lot to pack. i don't remember any of the things that needed packing but there were other things to do before leaving. i had a man for a love. he could've been light or dark, but enjoyed holding various parts of me. we weren't supposed to be together but nobody realized why. then we were in a car, off doing one of the things that needed to be done before leaving. i saw a screenshot on my phone and realized the time, it was five minutes before my flight was to take off. i started panicking. i was to fly to one city, spend the night, then go to another. missing the flight meant missing everything else. i started panicking. i was in the car still. i got back to where all my stuff was. my mother was there. she wanted me to go to church. she always wanted me to go to church. i walked through why i couldn't: the church wasn't all that excited about me existing as myself. i explained myself well. then people realized why i shouldn't been with love and he was gone. i was impenetrable and the most sad i've ever felt in a dream. i missed my flight and my love left. there was no way to get him back i remember. there was a muffled silence. i was looking at the ocean. i was inside my body.