If this is what I always get in loving so much,
then I wish I didn’t feel such.
If this is what I’ll end up in giving my all,
then I wish that I didn’t fall at all.

But I did, I greatly did.
Then I’d be ready to face these consequences even if I bleed.
What I always aimed is for us to be happy together,
but it ended up me crying and you leaving for the better.

Promised each other to not hurt one another,
but now I’m bleeding with the sharpness of your words.
Sweared that we’ll always be here for each other,
Now, I’m crying because those words acted like swords.

I was once so hopeful because of you,
Now, I’ve got no reason to hold on to.
You’re the only reason why I still fought up for this life,
Now, I’ve got another reason to give up on breathing and living and just cut it with a knife.

I don’t know why is it so hard for people to stay with me.
I had no bad intentions, nor carelessness when it comes to loving dearly.
I always tend to give the best of my capacity,
Yet those efforts seemed to be worthless with all clarity.

I’m not perfect, I also need understanding.
I’m not the best but I am always trying.
I may have failures but I’m trying to lessen them.
But I hope that those failures will not be the reasons for me to be alone again.

I always thought that it’d make you happy if we’ll always be together.
But now, I found myself kneeling and begging for you to stay forever.
I always thought that you’ll feel sorry if you’ll see me in tears.
But it seemed that these tears meant nothing for you and that brought me fears.

Before, I always felt that I am your happiness.
Now I feel like I brought you nothing but sadness and madness.
Your happiness now is what I am looking for.
Even if it’s sadly not with me anymore.

‘Though this pain is already killing me,
If it’s for your betterment then I’ll let it be.
I love you so much that I even want to keep all your problems myself alone.
But if I’m one of those problems, then I’d be willing to shutdown this life on my own.

-END-

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