"Aren't you scared of being vulnerable? Isn't it weird sharing your thoughts with the world? Do you ever regret it?"⠀
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Last night for #TipsyTuesday I got a lot of personal/deep questions that really made me ponder why I do what I do. Simply put, I never really thought of living my life any other way. I've always been an emotional person - the girl loving, overthinking, caring, scribbling poems in her journal - and for the last few years, unapologetically so. Under the wings of some lovely mentors, my faith, encouragement, and self-love, I started to embrace the side that was always labeled as 'too much.' And now, years later, this passion has become a career. Wow. Every day I'm blown away by that.⠀
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Sharing my writing has been something that grew naturally over time. Was I scared to? At first, yes. I would write and re-write pieces probably four or five times before even considering publishing on my blog, 'Word & Sole.' And that was before I even had a real following! Has it become more comfortable? Absolutely. And I think that's because I embraced imperfection more, started owning my voice instead of worry whether or not it matched someone's expectations, and connected with strangers and followers who really found peace in my words.⠀
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Is vulnerability tough? Hell yeah. Sometimes I wonder what people think of me when they read something - Do I look fragile? Strong? Messy? Self-confident? Unsure? I wonder if I'm a role model, a 'good' Christian? A hypocrite? My only goal, honestly, is to be real. To not try to 'filter' everything I write in the sense of making it 'likeable.' And to share things that I actually feel - not write for an audience.⠀
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Is that scary? Yeah, because if people judge my work I feel like they're judging me. And what reflection are my words leaving on people who know me? Love me? Want to start a relationship with me? Is it weird that my innermost thoughts are posted for all to see?⠀
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I don't necessarily regret being open online, but sometimes it's hard. I only hope that the community which I share my work understands that I'm growing - we're all growing. And know that my only intention is to be real and me. Not perfect.
