At this instant
my minds like a storm
Things blowing around
I dont understand whats is right or what is wrong
Only that this paths getting kinda long
For years ive pondered over the same things
Never going so far as to try them
As if i were scared
I often ran like lemmings off a clift
Never knowing if i could have made it
. . .
Im Dope As Shit.
Like the finnest gas in a backwood
Knockin niggas on they ass
Ali
Metaphysically annihilating all opposition
Yet it is a woman who brings me to my knees
Willing to submit
To offer her it all
Body and soul
Losing my mind
Just the site of her walking away
Leaves my world in pieces.
Shiiiiittttt
If she only knew
Stilling myself to keep it pushin
All the while
Things still shift and move
Never looking the same as i emerge from my stupor
Slightly more twisted then i was the first time
Fighting for peace that would never be mine
For love i couldnt hold on too
It seems i fuck up alot
Like every decison is wrong
Unable to reel them in
Ideas unable to be expressed
Words unable to be spoken
Appologies never uttered
Constantly introverted
Avoiding the things that hurt
Living everyday
Working everyday
Ive never hurt anyone purposefully
Nor do i know how it feels to live in the hood
Yet still i am branded
Failing to see the the different shades
The different shapes in which we come
How do you support a world which has damned your very existence
How do you still your heart
When in america they killing niggas
Bang! Bang!
Poison water
Tainted vaccines
Ropes
200 years later and we still swinging from trees
Except now the chains are unseen
And the ropes are the habits we pass to our children
The anger we cant seem to control
The knowledge we seem not to know
Oh children of pangea
How ive started to believe their stories
Loosing my sense of self amoung the pages
I buy into their investments
I adamately celebrate their holidays
Determinately stuck
For i can see the strings
The outline of their matrix
Still trying to understand life
Seeing my leash
Tempting my fate
Nowadays i find ways to forgive my latest transgressions
On the cusp of cosmic knowledge
But still a nigga
My eternal disease
. . . My first love
Blackness inherited from the void
Living lifetimes in a minute
. . . Im too old for this shit
To be so brimmed with things
I am unable to organize
It is this restlessness that men fall prey to
This eternal nostalgia
For the rat stuck in the maze eventually
Just looks for cheese
I preach and i plead
Look beyond, for that which you see is not real
But who listens to a nigga
. . . Too real to be black
And to black to be real
So i cradle the end of a backwood between my lips
Drawing in smoke that numbs my brain
Retreating from the higher powers stiring within
Bitting my lip to keep from crying
Atemping to heal the scars From a father i never knew
Extinguishing my flames in her ocean
docile and exausted
Cause blacks willing to fight end up rotting in the road
My minds so over loaded i need mary jane to sleep
An eat
And live and breath
Living lax in insalubrious conditions
Trying to find some slack in this noose
Hoping i dont have to hang myself too
But We only talk about this
when we rollin a splif
when we scratching that itch
Or when we high in a lyft
That backwood talk