I've been going through so many life changes this year. 2017 has been equally the best and worst year of my life..I've had a lot of gains, but I have taken many losses. I think so many crazy things about myself and my life sometimes it's hard to just keep it all i there. I need to write, its my therapy...I wrote this poem on the spot, freestyle. Just writing my thoughts to a rhyme...Please open up your hearts if you are carrying destructive thoughts in your mind. I am struggling, but I will be okay..i know that in my heart...enjoy the poem
Tears running down my face and I can't get a grip...feels like im slippin
I had a wish to live different but everything isn't what it seems
I had dreams of..flying through the night, not a limit in sight
but look at real life and it's like...its obviously wrong
or is it obviously right? either way I feel as if im laying on spikes
from pain comes pleasure though, I use to tell myself to never let her go
but now I gotta question my incentive, the reason why I let it get this hectic
Im stressed a bit, smoking on this long spliff...hungry as shit
I think its time for respit, every lesson comes in the form of aggression
or depression....
it's sad to think how I used to be, because now I look and dont recognize
feels like my mind is weaponized, destructive...
I'm diving through the hoops of life, without instructions
It's difficult sometimes to see the light in the dark
but there's something deep inside me, I knew right from the start
that I would be a special mind, despite all my thoughts
this life that I walk is not always easy to strut in
no more crutches to lean on gotta depend on myself...
But its hard with a mind like a fire cracker
I feel plastered some times thats when I cause disaster
feels like im trapped in something I get out of..
feels like im trying to climb to the top of a mountain....
feels like im dying to get this out of me...
all I hear is "how could he?"
It's a very long road that we all are walking down
I'm just tryin to find my peace inside and all around
One day i know i'll get it..when? thats a mystery
I just hope it's soon...cause..all this bullshit, it isn't me...