Something I'm really struggling with lately is my inability to just focus on one thing - I just want to be everything, and I want to be damn good at everything. It's not enough that I'm writing three pieces a day, I also want to publish a book. My full length draft is being edited, and without hesitation I'm thinking what I want to do for another manuscript. I'm connecting with amazing people, and yet I want to meet more. I'm using my talents every single day, but I'm still searching for ways I can dig even deeper.⠀
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Do you ever feel like that? Like it's simply never enough?⠀
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Lately I've been plagued by the fear of time just running out - not enough hours in the day, not enough minutes to learn and absorb all I want to, and in turn, not being 'good enough' at every single thing I want to do. It's crazy, really. I know it is. And yet, I have the hardest time settling for anything less than perfection in myself.⠀
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I want, so desperately, to be the best at everything I do - or else what's the point? (At least that's what I tell myself). It's funny because I can write article after article on slowing down, on loving yourself, on being proud of who you are while striving for more - and yet, here I am, always pushing pushing pushing without taking a moment to be like, "Hey Maris, you're kicking a$$." You know?⠀
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I don't know if it's a bad thing, necessarily, to want to be the best you can be. But I wish sometimes I could just be okay with where I'm at without always feeling like there's another level to reach, goal to set, expectation to break. Do you ever feel this way? Like you're trying so hard to be everything...that you don't even know who you are anymore? If this is you, I hope you breathe today. I hope you laugh today. I hope you remind yourself you're awesome today. ⠀
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"Whatever you are be a beautiful one" - this line from one of my old pieces popped into my head during my morning workout. It's a reminder that I don't have to be everything; I just have to be me. And whoever that person is (or becomes) is perfectly enough.
