... is what my boys say to me before I leave.
When I go to work they know they won't see me for hours, they may not see me until bedtime or the next day even if I am on call. Our time together is precious and they know it. I know it.
"Dad, I need you" They cling to my legs. "don't go!"
It consistently without fail breaks my heart every time
"I don't want to go either, I'm sorry buddy, I love you, I have to go"
The second I get home
The most joyous sound
DADDY!!! YOU'RE HOME
I am
and from that point on if I hear the phrase
"Daddy, I need you"
I drop everything... nothing else is important
I will do anything to spare my sons, my daughter of any heartache. They will not ever yearn for my attention, or my presence as long as I can help it.
That's when I understood why my dad held on for so long
He was so sick, for so long, he was in pain for years
but dad I need you
His quality of life was consistently falling, and more problems would arise
but dad I need you, don't leave
He lost his dad when he was 10. He knew...
He knew that our pain wouldn't leave when his did.
He knew as we said...
Dad, I need you
He wouldn't be coming back, even if he wanted to
Dad, I need you
He held on for as long as he could
Until almost a year ago now, as I heard his rattle, I told him...
"It's okay, you can go, don't be afraid"
He left a few hours later
Dad, I still need you
Dads, your kids need you. Be with them.