It

This is a freestyle poem that I wrote about a year ago, on a day where I had lost control of my emotions and was struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hope you enjoy :)

I run from it. I run up mountains, through valleys, narrowly escaping its grasp. It comes for me endlessly through the night when I am alone. I hear it calling through the foggy morning; I feel it stalking me like prey. I try and sooth it, and it goes away only to come back another day. I try and ignore it, but it only comes back stronger the next time. Sometimes I let it consumes me; it takes over keeping me from having supremacy in my own domain.

I sometimes battle it and win, but sometimes it slaps me causing the dams to explode. The water runs mocking my resistance to submission. I try to overcome it, I sincerely do. But no matter how hard I try it only comes back stronger and increasingly heart wrenching. Never in a thousand years has creation seen something so majestic and horrifying.

black birds.jpg

Sometimes I almost let it talk me off the cliff. It makes me regret the things I say and do. It makes me tear myself apart, piece by piece. It caresses my cheek as it tells me it’s okay to give in to it. It forces to speak words I wish I could take back and discard. It causes me to hate people I love and kill the people I would give my life to save. When it does it possess me to my core. It prides itself on being the cause of wars and death.

It boasts in being the cause of other people’s destruction. It feeds its self on the snapping of others, rocks those to sleep who can’t get rid of it. But it always leaves to return again. I’m tired of it hunting my heart in finding its game. I’m tired of it bringing me to my knees. I wish its yoke was light and burden easy, for I cannot withstand its possession on my heart when it comes.
Every time I try and fight it only gets stronger until it has taken away all my dreams and hopes. I’m tired of its shackles on my heart and soul. I want to have an existence without it.

I want to live without it, but I am afraid of not feeling it. I fear that if I stop feeling it I will no longer belong to humanity. That if it ever leaves me I will no longer have sanity.

Thank you for reading, resteeming, upvoting, following, and commenting :)
(Not my photos)