Dear love,
I love you yet I hate you,I despise you yet I adore you, I think of you always yet I don't think of you. I hate you I think, but deep down I know I don't.
I love you yet I hate you because you became the scaredy cat you once called me. You felt insecure and doubtful because you had heard whispers.You had asked me if I could handle you and i had said that i wouldn't leave you. See!!?, you left me first because you heard whispers.You had been the first, you were more than another person in my life,you were a question, the big one that engulfed my heart,one i had started to learn about.
I love you yet I hate you because you listened to those whispers. You had made me out to be lowly.But I didn't shed a tear,not that I didn't want to, but because I had to be strong,channel the tears into motivation for what I wanted. I wish you were less smart so you could understand my love for you but logic,rationality and intelligence has clouded your judgement.
This is not about how much I love you
This is not about how much I care about you
This is not about how much I looked forward to what we had
This is not about how happy I had felt
This is not about how pained I feel now
This is not about how pinched my heart is.Yes,not broken but pinched because broken would literarily mean dead
This is above all not about pure aesthetics and creativity
I hated being clingy,being a stalker,being an attention seeker because independence could not be taken from me. You had known too little about me,you had thought too little of me and you had thrown me away for what I had not done.
I want you to read this yet I don't.I want you to read so you know my heart and I don't want you to read this because you would think yourself important which you truthfully were, but not anymore.
This is the last time I'll talk about you, so I might as well thank you
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for the feeling of fulfillment
Thank you for everything.
Yours Truly,
Ex lover
