And you are growing smaller in my mind.

I’m a mess of broken hearts
thrown in a drawer ㅤ and I tell you
I feel nothing now
eyes still like gazelle’s
but not liquid nomore
just coarse ㅤmechanical ㅤ like love
it doesn’t matter
if you turn back or not ㅤ eyes won’t
leap back at you
the drawer’s closed for ever ㅤ and I
threw its key up so high
it metamorphosed into a red gazelle
with wings and burst
into a constellation
like a validation of something
that’s been there but is now
untouchable ㅤ like what we had.

A part of me
is locked away in my self
in some drawer of my heart
and I don’t feel incomplete
if anything it’s pride and confidence
it’s like unlocking some parts
that I didn’t know were there
and there’s gratitude ㅤ yes
but not love ㅤ n o
I fed that word to the red gazelle
with fins ㅤ ㅤ she chewed at it
so hard I swear you could hardly
make anything
out of its distorted shape
I fed the word to her
and I set her free to roam the seas
& she surfed ㅤ & melted into corals
& is for ever
until of course your humanity
doesn’t pollute the sea

(first published in Ps I Love You by the author https://psiloveyou.xyz/and-you-are-growing-smaller-in-my-mind-9f299b0ff07)