My adventures did not end after my day in court on my last ticket. Just weeks later I was pulled over and cited for 'speeding' again and this time he wanted to let me know that he had my safety in mind and included an additional ticket for not wearing my seat belt. Once again I refused to pay the non-voluntary donation to the city of Chandler without my day in court, so I signed the ticket and requested a court hearing on this matter.
I always request court hearings whether I am 'guilty' of the offense I am being charged with or not. I do this simply to waste as much of the states time and resources as I can. I will go to court even if I know that I have no chance of wining, I feel it's the responsibility of every person to do the same. If everyone was to do this, the system would collapse under it's own weight...and this would be a good thing!
This would actually be a fight that I could win and that I happened to be in the right on. I was wearing my seat belt at the time of my encounter with one of the Fuhrer's Jack Booted thugs that pulled me over, but I had released my seat belt before the Nazi approached my vehicle. It was after 10:00 pm at night, as I passed the speed trap that the Nazi had been lying in wait behind. As I passed he switched on his lights and proceeded to follow me, but was still several hundred yards behind me. Knowing that it was me that he was after I pulled over well before he actually caught up to me. I had to remove my seat belt so I could reach the glove compartment that contained my 'papers.'
By the time he approached the side of my car and said 'papers please' I had already removed my seat belt and had my 'papers' out and ready to hand to him. He could not have known if I had been wearing my seat belt prior to this or not since it was dark and I have tinted windows, but because he was concerned for my safety he included another ticket for not wearing my seat belt. He did not care to listen to my explanation of what actually happened...after all this is about 'safety' and he was genuinely concerned about mine.
So, here I am back where I left off at the end of my last day in court, and as irony would have it, I was in the same courtroom that I was in before with the same judge who had recused herself before...only this time she did not recuse herself. I was not quite sure if it was because she did not recognize me as she did before, or she just figured what the hell.
I had the help of my attorney friend Charity in my last confrontation with the 'justice system' but this time I would have to go at it alone, as Charity was involved in a very big case at the time and could not be there...oh well I always wanted to try my hand at 'lawyering' so this would be my big chance.
After the judge read the usual diatribe of how all this would work and how the burden of proof was with the state (yeah right) she then asked the jack booted thug with the gun and the shiny badge to proceed. Mr. Hitler read from his well prepared notes about the events of July 9th, 2012 and how I committed the heinous crime of driving over the speed limit on 'his streets' and how he then pulled me over for my own safety and those around me. He noted that when he approached my car that I was not wearing a seat belt, this of course was true, but only because I had previously taken it off to get my registration and proof of insurance out of the glove box and I could not reach them with the belt restraining me.
Now it was my turn. I had taken pictures of my car the night before to show that because of the dark tint on my car it would have been impossible for him to know for sure whether I was wearing a seat belt of not as I drove past him. When asked if he agreed with my comment he said yes, he did not notice whether or not I had a seat belt on as I passed him because it was late and my windows were tinted.
Just to make sure we all had the fact straight in this matter I asked Mr. Hitler if he would be able to tell me what direction I was heading when I came by him? He replied I was going from south to north on Arizona Avenue. I then asked what direction he was facing while he was performing his revenue collection...oops I mean his traffic control duties? He replied he was facing from east to west. I then asked him to explain exactly what happened as I went by him? He replied that as I went by him he clocked me traveling at 56 miles per hour in a 45 mile per hour speed zone. He then said he turned on his lights at proceeded out into traffic to pull me over. I asked him approximately how far behind me he was? He replied it took him approximately 30 seconds to catch up to where I had already been pulled over waiting on him.
I then began to explain to the court that by the time Mr. Hitler had caught up to me, got out of his car (after running my license plate) and approached my car that I already had 'my papers' out and waiting on him. I explained that I had released my seat belt when I first stopped to be able to get to my glove box that I could not reach while the seat belt was restraining me, and that is why I was not wearing my seat belt as he approached my car. This was the same thing I told Officer Hitler that night on the side of the road, but he was not buying it.
The Shiny Badge Argument
In my closing I pounded the table a few times (always a good ploy to show your outrage) and said, "Judge if you believe his story over mine it could only mean that you are giving more weight to the person with the shiny badge and gun, and this would be an outrage!" After cautioning me to manage my outbursts she then asked Mr. Hitler if he had anything to add, to which he said that was not what he remembered, but that I also made a derogatory comment to him as I was leaving, although he said he could not remember what it was that I said. I felt it my duty to help him remember exactly what it was I said, so at that point I brought the microphone very close and said, "judge, I called him a Nazi as I was pulling away, I cannot lie."
Oddly though the judge did not see the humor in my comment and once again warned me that I should be more cautious what I say in court because it's a matter of public record. What I did not tell her was that I purposely said what I said so that it would be part of the record...after all I was not looking to win any points with the state. After commenting that since there were no other witnesses, she would have no other choice but to rule in my favor.
So chalk up one for the good guys! After having lost in my previous bout with the state I felt somewhat redeemed. I went back to work, the state did not get to steal any additional funds from me this time, and I got to use a Nazi as a piñata for a few minutes...so for a brief time all was good in NaziLand.