Judgement Gay

Last night I attended the theatrical performance of the most infamous 'conservative' speaker of our day, Milo Yiannopoulos.

Having been a fan of Milo over the past two years, I anticipated seeing him in the flesh to provide some insightful commentary on the state of Australian politics in the inflammatory fashion of Milo. However, the audience received too little insight and too much inflammation, in my humble opinion.

Ab initio, I received a call from one of my mates who had arrived early to tell me that the roads to access the event from the city had been closed and that the organisers were trying to rush people into the hall to avoid any more aggression from the protestors. I had to skull my beer and fang it down the freeway to make it to the event in time. After a 20 minute detour through fucking Brunswick of all places (San Francisco compressed into a suburb) and a five minute cross country sprint (after smoking half a deck at the pub) I had finally arrived to the venue.

The protest was an absolute spectacle, I was greeted by approximately 50 proto-robo cops and hundreds of androgynous protestors screaming "death to Nazis" (not understanding irony) and "racist, fascist anti-queer, Milo is not wanted here!" (still not understanding irony)

After narrowly escaping the cancer of the protest, I was rushed into the venue where we waited for 30 minutes for the fabulous faggot. On the way to my seat I walked down the corridor and passed a side-room of the venue where we discovered 30 more proto-robo cops were sitting and guarding the only exit.

Moreover, before we received Milo's grace, the most uncharismatic emcee, whose name eludes me, starting quoting John Stuart Mill, Thomas Paine and Marcus Aurelius. The forty-something year old man wearing a surprisingly dapper getup kept stumbling on his words and losing his train of thought. He resorted to a painfully awkward interview of random crowd members. I swear, half the kids were either zealots or plus-ones.

Fast forward 20 minutes and Milo made his extravagant appearance and did not disappoint. However, after his classic adages of sucking black dick, being gay, a conservative, half Jewish and a Catholic his speech stagnated. Normally, Milo is extremely insightful and engaging because as he says, he "wraps the truth in a good joke". Conversely, whilst listening to his speech it felt like he just went after low hanging fruit and displayed little insight into Australian politics. For example, he attacked the media (namely Waleed Ali & Clementine Ford), aboriginal culture, Islam and feminism (as what to be expected), but he did not provide anything of substance, albeit, is was fucking hilarious. Traditionally, Milo has lampooned a particular group and then proceeded to talk about the facts, statistics and solutions, but on that fateful night he did very little of it.

Milo gave a call to arms and kept self-aggrandising by praising himself for the work that he has done and the influence that he has had on US politics. Towards the end of the speech, I noticed Milo painting the left in the same light that they perceive everybody else by using scare tactics "they are everywhere and they want you dead, you might not know it yet, but they do". Naturally, his position is not entirely false, but it is entirely predicated on the stupidity of the left and the protestors do not realise that they keep validating this position and halt any further discussion on politics other than promoting partisanship. I have a quarrel with this because us Australians already know and have been exposed to the stupidity of the left and they are not the 'boogie monster' under the bed, but the sound of choppers, breaking glass and screaming heard from outside the auditorium validated his claim that "we must fight back, the exact same way that the left do".

In conclusion, I suppose my cynicism comes from the fact that I did not learn anything new from this speech and I felt like I was sitting in a circle jerk of how much we hate Waleed Aly and the Australian media and how infallible the word of Milo is. I am still definitely a fan of the Dangerous Faggot and love his flamboyancy, but I would have appreciated a more tailored speech to our demographic that did not comprise mostly of reiterating outdated Australian memes and laughing at the lunacy of the left and their odour, which we could smell walking past the crowd by the way. Yeah, I guess he was pretty spot on... I would just appreciate less of a cultish atmosphere.

But, I want to know your thoughts on Milo, he seems to have lost his edge in a lot of ways to me as his ideas have become more accepted since the advent of Trump.