Ever wonder what it would be like if Jimmy Buffett was president? It's really not so far fetched if you think about it.
Here's what a Buffett presidency might be like……
LICENSE TO CHILL
Everyone would be eligible for a 'License to Chill'. This would immediately reduce overall stress levels, making everyone nicer and friendlier. Crime? What crime? Contentious political debates, filibusters? Everyone's too busy learning to surf or working on the perfect tan for that nonsense!
THE TWO BEST TIMES OF THE DAY EXTENDED
Lunch breaks would last indefinitely, maybe even forever - Did you ever Wish Lunch Could Last Forever" Thanks to President Buffett now it does. Not only that, but 'it's always 5 o'clock anyway.
SPENDING MONEY
Nevermind helicopter money, this is the real stuff. Everyone would have plenty of "Spending Money". You know, so you can buy a boat or at least put a nice swimming pool and BBQ in the backyard.
HAWAIIAN SHIRT MILLIONAIRES
Forget about Bush, forget Obama now it's all about Tommy Bahama and colorful, comfortable beachy attire. Anyone who's got a closet full of vintage Hawaiian shirts will make a fortune as will talented designers and entrepreneurs who capitalize on this fashion trend.
STAR SPANGLED BANNER SUPPLANTED BY THE HOKEY POKEY
The national anthem is changed to The Hokey Pokey because, well, "What if the Hokey Pokey Is All it Really is About'? Aside from that, let's face it, The Hokey Pokey is much easier to sing.
TOM SELLECK IS VP
Well who else would you expect?
HANDSHAKES REPLACED BY LANDSHARK
The overly formal, not to mention anxiety-producing and just plain unsanitary handshake will be replaced by the so-called Landshark.
BAREFOOTIN'
Flip flops could be worn at all times and for all occasions. 'Barefootin'' would also be acceptable.
FREE TICKETS TO "MARGARITAVILLE"
Where is Margaritaville? According to President Buffett, "It's in the tropics somewhere ... Palm trees provide the camouflage, ocean breezes bring the seaplanes and sailboats, tourists and travelers. Passports are not required. Island music rules. No waiting lines for anything." There is a beach and a thatched roof bar perched on the edge of the turquoise sea where you can always find a seat. Of course there is a 'Cheeseburger in Paradise' prepared just as you like it and you can smell those 'shrimp beginning to boil'.
BUFFET PRESIDENCY IMPACT ON FOREIGN RELATIONS
Vladimir Putin, totally gets it!
Angela Merkel enjoys a nice, cold Landshark Lager
Theresa May gives the camera a saucy smile as she leaves foggy London for the summit in Margaritaville. I think she's looking forward to seeing Putin without a shirt.
Even Kim Jong Un Gets into the Buffett wave with an Attempt at the Landshark
Don't worry Kim, just put on a pair of flip flops and a Tommy Bahama shirt and you'll get it
World leaders no longer gather in Davos to discuss "Useless But Important Information".
Margaritaville is the new location. Here's a before and after........
What a bunch of gloomy gusses. Davos was a downer.
Here's the after. Talk about 'Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude'!
NO MORE WARS WITH BUFFETT IN THE BLUE HOUSE
With Jimmy Buffett in the White House, which is now painted a bright Carribbean blue, we wouldn't have to worry about war. The world leaders would simply get together over the weekend, have a few margaritas and cheeseburgers on the Blue House lawn and
'Come Monday' everything would be alright.
No matter what, there's no need to worry because with President Buffett, 'There's a Party at the End of the World'.
And just when you think it can't happen again, that's when the "Good Guys Win".