They're a proper fucking drain on the country, let's deal with this retarded shit once and for all.
Wake up plebs. I've something to say!
Now, I don't know about you, but i'm fucking sick to the back teeth with the terminally ill.
Moping around, filling up hospitals and raping the pool dry.. I mean, it was YOU filthy horrible lot that bloody paid for it, you should be fucking livid... the soon-to-be-dead-anyway are currently spending half of the entire budget. The useless sacks of shit.
We are therefore proud to announce our latest government measure, a bill which will send an immediate, unequivocable, and powerful message to those who choose not to do the right thing, which of course is to take a whole weeks morphine ration along with a nice bottle of Gin.
OUR PLAN TO TACKLE THIS ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR
In the next session of parliament, we will be requiring local coucils to issue a quota of "end of life enforcement notices" to people who have been diagnosed with less than a year to live. These notices require the individual to immediately desist in using NHS services, drop-in centres and government funded support services, or pay an on the spot fine of £300, rising by an index linked percentage multiplier to the inflation rate, which is liable for every week they fail to comply with the notice.
This sends a clear message to the infirm that it just won't be tolerated for people who have absolutely no desire to contribute to this country to continue to use its services for free. It's sensible, it's practical, and it's the right thing to do.
The net effect on the economy is expected to be as follows:
- a sharp increase in available wards which can be packaged up and sold in larger lots to Richard Branson, and my husbands hedge fund.
- more money saved in frontline treatment can be funneled in to bolstering pension pots into private investment schemes which buy up government debt bonds and repackage them for sale to the Chinese.
- more empty homes which can be upcycled. In other words, flattened, and used to build a low rent tower block clad entirely in BBQ lighter bricks.
- no more heating allowance payments
I look forward to the public consultation, and my government will naturally draw whatever conclusions I wish once the 7 day period is over, and bring this bill onto the statute books.
For those that exploit the system by willingly being a burden on it, your time is up. Your days are numbered. Goodbye.