"I missed the Presidential debate because of my busy schedule"- President Muhammadu Buhari.
"Not true. You missed the Presidential debate because you are weak and cowardly and because you are no longer in control of your mental and physical faculties.
You missed the Presidential debate because you have lost your mind and memory and you cannot take ten steps without stumbling or falling.
You missed the Presidential debate because the organisers wouldn't allow your Vice President to stand next to you on the podium and help you to answer the questions.
You missed the Presidential debate because you are a shadow of your former self and because you are now a pitiful sight.
You missed the Presidential debate because you look blankly and vacantly into the air when you are asked simple questions and you drawl and drool spittle from both sides of your mouth when you attempt to answer them.
You missed the Presidential debate because you are utterly deluded, you are out of touch with reality, you are completely senile and you are suffering from an advanced and irretrievable stage of dementia.
You missed the Presidential debate because you don't know where you are, you don't know what you do, you don't know where you live, you don't know what date it is, you don't know which party you are in, you don't know which office you hold, you don't know which position you are contesting for and you don't know which country you are leading.
You missed the Presidential debate because you are suffering God's judgement for your wicked and cruel ways.
You missed the Presidential debate because your handlers know that you are not fit to be President and they didn't want you to display your vegetative state and degenerated condition in full glare of the Nigerian people.
You missed the Presidential debate because you have no respect for yourself and no respect for the Nigerian people.
You missed the Presidential debate because you couldn't give a damn!
It is for these reasons that you missed the Presidential debate and not because you have a busy schedule"
Femi Fani-Kayode, 20th Jan. 2019.