Pre-Writing Disclaimer: as the title indicates, this is a political post. It is intended as a serious critique of the President of the United States but also comedic relief by style of delivery.
Mr. Trump,
It’s been awhile since I last wrote. I hope you didn’t miss me as much as I did you. My goodness, you’ve grown so much since we last spoke! I remember in January it seemed as if you and Steve would be inseparable for the rest of your lives, but oh how times change. The same went for your friend Sean. Now though, it seems you’ve moved on, having sacked both of them.
Although I appreciate the new turns of events in your governmental family, the transition wasn’t without it’s so called rebellious phases. Don’t think I missed the Scaramucci period… What an embarrassing 10 days that was, especially after his interview with the New Yorker. My favorite quote? The same as everyone else’s: “I am not… trying to suck my own [explitive].” Speaking of which, can Steve actually do that? You two seem to be on good terms even after the split, so maybe you could ask him for me. Everybody wants to know.
I look onto your new Chief of Staff with cautious optimism, which is already setting me up to be disappointed. He meets the two high standards I have set for his position: he is a human, and additionally, he is not a Nazi-Zombie like Steve Bannon. Hopefully Mr. Kelly can stamp out some of the infighting and be a mature supervisor for the White House. Recently reporting surfaced in the Washington Post (which, by the way, is not owned by Amazon, contrary to your tweeting) that Kelly nearly resigned in the wake of your firing of James Comey, but I, for one, am glad he did not. I pray that he succeeds in bringing maturity and normalcy to an administration that, though at times bearing a passing resemblance of being so, is anything but normal. Admittedly, the notion of a productive Trump presidency is an extremely fearsome one.
News flash for you, sir: White Supremacy and those protesting it are nowhere remotely near morally equivalent. The fact that you would come within the realm of even being misinterpreted as stating that they are is, to use your word, repugnant. You really threw me through the ringer with that one, going from “violence on both sides” to condemning the KKK and White Supremacy as “repugnant” (big word-- proud of you) back to once again trying to pin violence on the protestors. I went from pissed to relieved and back to pissed again. I have my fingers crossed that your firing of Steve Bannon indicates a new era in the Trump White House, but I have my reservations. You always have a scapegoat, after all.
P.S. I unequivocally condemn violent extremist groups of all kinds, from AntiFa to the KKK to Neo-Nazis and ISIS. Violence is wrong, regardless of who it comes from. (See how easy that was, Donny?)
P.P.S Covfefe.