I applaud you for attempting to do this SoC. But my question is what have you written compared to what has actually gone through your mind. It has been my experience ( and this applies to me also) that what we tell other people what we believe is usually the opposite of what we really believe. I do NOT want to be judgemental (see that's one of them for me because I am being judgemental) but many of the statements you make seem to be contradicted by you later in the piece. Again I do the same thing as do most of the people I know. I am going to continue to follow you to see how this progresses. Again I applaud you for doing this very difficult thing. Great Luck!