My son Jonathan had late onset of autism, which meant that for the first 5 years of his life, Jonathan was a happy and healthy child. He is also my first born and from the day that I welcomed him into the world in the hospital delivery room on 28 August 1990, I have been fully involved as a father in raising him up. As a child, Jonathan was very inquisitive, asked a lot of questions, very talkative and overall developing normally. He was even bilingual and he could speak both English and Mandarin. It was a joy to be with him and to take care of him.
When symptoms of his autism emerged around the age of 5, both Roselind and my worlds were shattered. From a bubbly and talkative boy, Jonathan begun chanting and eventually lost his speech. (Through Applied Behavior Analysis, Jonathan eventually regained part of his speech).When he begun to act out, throwing tantrums, we could not understand what was wrong. We thought that we had failed as parents and that our parenting style had made Jonathan into a spoilt and pampered brat. So we made a decision which Roselind and I regretted until this day, the decision to discipline and punish whenever he misbehaved. Little did we know that his behavior was due to his autism. For 2 whole years, we were running around in Kuching, consulting doctor after doctor to find out what was wrong with Jonathan. Only when we brought to Kuala Lumpur that we discovered that Jonathan had late onset of autism.
The 2 years of searching was one of the worst period not only for Roselind and me but for Jonathan as well. The anxiety, uncertainty and the chaos that we felt overwhelmed us as we tried to make sense of what was happening to Jonathan. He had always been such a good and happy child, why is he behaving this way now? I could still recalled vividly the first time that I caned Jonathan. He turned back and looked at me not with pain but with puzzlement, completely mystified. He absolutely could not comprehend why for the first time in his life, I had canned him.
And it is in this time of utter hopelessness and despair that we begin to have hope. Hope that we can help Jonathan and others like him. After getting the autism diagnosis, we begun to mix around with parents of autistic children. Eventually Roselind and I founded the Sarawak Autistic Association which later changed its name to Kuching Autistic Association. As its founding Vice-President, one my pressing task was to create awareness about autism. I wanted to make it easy for parents to obtain autism diagnosis; no family should ever had to go through the 2 years of hell trying to figure what was wrong with their child. No child should be punished like Jonathan for his behavior just because he is autistic. If possible, we did not want any other parents and their child to go through what Roselind and I had gone through with Jonathan. We have to pass the message of hope that as parents they too can help their autistic children.
As parents, we want the best for our children. My hopes for Jonathan are simple, that he will be as independent as possible, that he can contribute to society and that society has a place for him, that he can develop to the fullest of his potential and finally that he will be well taken care of when Roselind and I are no longer in this world. And as I work towards these hopes into reality, I would also like to pass this message of hope to other parents and indeed to the world. Just when you feel like that there is no hope left, never give up because your feeling can be so wrong and hope will appear if you truly search for it. Remember that hope is very powerful and in the words of Helen Keller ““Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”
I do hope that you will take part in the positive vibes daily challenge that I have created. As a reminder, these are the daily themes:
Gratitude Sunday
Anything on things we are grateful for and blessings we have received.
Milestone Monday
Anything on your milestones, success, achievements and accomplishments.
Kindness Tuesday
Anything on acts of kindness, pay it forward, charity and volunteering.
Fun Wednesday
Anything fun, humorous and jokes.
Adventure Thursday
Anything on adventures and discoveries.
Hope Friday
Anything on hope, courage and overcoming challenges and obstacles.
Love Saturday
Anything on love and what you love doing.
For more details about the positive vibes daily challenge, please visit this page.
Follow me and stay positive.
Do check out my previous posts.
Positive Vibes Daily Challenge Adventure Thursday: From Probabilities To Possibilities, Go And Have An Adventure
Positive Vibes Daily Challenge Fun Wednesday: Acting Silly And Having Fun At The Langkawi 3D Art Museum
New Year New Challenge: Introducing The Positive Vibes Daily Challenge
Daily Food Photography: The Jelly Fish
Lesson From My First Experience At Jet Skiing: Fear Is The Number One Cause Of Regrets
Spreading positivity one post at a time.
Charles
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