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You are a financially successful person. Your career skyrocketed, your life needs fulfilled, even you become the backbone for your extended family.
Not only that, you also have a proud academic degree. In your neighborhood, you are known to be an intelligent person, a renowned college graduate overseas, working at a leading multinational corporation, and occupying an important position in the company.
For the people in your neighborhood, you are an exemplary figure because of your greatness. And you don't deny that your life is perfect.
However, actually, in the depths of your heart, you are still not happy. You still do not feel your life is perfect. You are often under stress because of anxiety about your own life.
Actually, what happened in your life? Your household is fine. Your relationship with your spouse can even be considered very harmonious. Your extended family depends on you. You become a leader for them. So what's missing?
Well, maybe the answer is, you lack emotional independence! This means that the happiness of your life is not determined by yourself, but by others. You think that you will be happy if and only if you have achievements you can be proud of, a good and loving life partner, and friends and family who hail the perfection of your life.
Not having emotional independence can be one of the reasons a person is unhappy in his life. This is because, he is never satisfied with himself. He always wants to look perfect in the eyes of others. He always tries to make himself happy through the judgment of others against him. When he is in contact with other people, such as romance, he thinks that with the presence of others in his life, he will be happy.
In short, a person who has no emotional independence thinks that the task of making him happy is someone else's job, not his or her own.
The problem is, fate is not always on our side. Sometimes, somehow our domestic life met shock. Not infrequently our social life is full of quarrels. Likewise with our career, sometimes improved, but not infrequently also decreased.
Emotional independence is an indispensable mindset of success, especially when fate is not on our side. At least, it can be a weapon for us to stay strong and defend.
For people who don't have this success mindset, bad luck is a very sad disaster. With no emotional independence, people who experience bad luck will feel dozens of times more sad than true misery. When fate sided with him alone, he still constantly feel unhappy, especially when fate does not side with him?
Well, if it's true you still do not feel happy when you think and your environment, your life is perfect, take a moment to read this paper. What's in this article? In this paper, I will discuss the signs that someone does not have an emotionally independent mindset. In addition, I will also share how to have that mindset of success. Hopefully this article will help you become an independent and happy person.
Signs of someone not having emotional independence
Here are the signs that a person does not have an emotionally independent mindset. If these signs are on you, chances are you do not have an emotionally independent mindset. You need to grow the successful midset for the happiness of your life.
√ Seeking a life partner to make yourself happy.
As mentioned above, people who do not have emotional independence always depend on their happiness to others. In a relationship of love, the absence of this mindset manifests in dependence on the couple.
He always thought that he would not live happily when he did not have a life partner. Moreover, he thought that his life would be destroyed when he lost his life partner. He always needs the affection of his partner, and thinks that when his partner leaves him, no one can pity him. He will be a person who is not cared for and lacks affection.
In fact, a healthy relationship is a relationship that gives more and little receive. Well, for people who do not have emotional independence, in romance, they receive more than give. They rely on their happiness for their life partner.
The soundtracks of their lives are now sardonic songs, which always chant, "I can not live without you."
√ Don't feel comfortable with loneliness.
People who do not have emotional independence always feel that loneliness is a sad situation. When they are shunned by friends or spouses, they will feel very sad. They feel that their life is very sad without the presence of others who care about it.
√ Dramatically hurt and hurt when other people do not fulfill their ego.
Another feature of a person who does not have emotional independence is that his happiness depends on the judgment of others or the environment against him. For example, if in his environment he is known as a millionaire, then he will be embarrassed when he is not able to have what his neighbors can have. He will also be embarrassed when his position in the company loses prestige with the position of his neighbor.
In a family environment, he always keeps his family's good name. When his family name is tarnished by the actions of one family member, then he will be very ashamed to face that fact. He will be angry and angry with his family members. He will also be stressed because he is forced to bear shame in the face of the environment (although not necessarily a member of the family is guilty), he may just not follow the rules and environmental culture that is not in accordance with him).
People like this much we encounter in soap operas on television. They, having no emotional independence, have their happiness set by the environmental assessment, the judgment of their neighbors against themselves.
Well, so signs of people who do not have emotional independence. In fact, there are many other signs that indicate a person lacks emotional independence. But, for sure, those who don't have that success mindset always depend on their happiness for others.
It should be understood that having no emotional independence does not mean we are bad people, that our person is not perfect. Not. What I emphasize in this paper is that emotional independence is one of the successful mindsets we need to have. This is because the mindset helps us change our outlook on life. It helps us establish healthy relationships with others and helps us achieve happiness, without relying on others.
So, what about you? Are the above signs in you? If so, just look at how to grow the following emotional independence.
• Solve problems independently.
Learn to solve your own problems without the help of others. This is to train you to get used to relying on your own abilities.
If you are bored, look for ways to get rid of it. Try not to expect help from others to eliminate your failure. Do not contact your friends to hang out together, for example, to get rid of your point.
If your heart hurt, heal it in your own way. Don't expect others to come to cure your heartache, even if that person is the one who has hurt you.
Implant in you that healing your internal wounds depends on yourself, not on others.
When you realize you have the ability to solve your own problems, you will stop hanging your life to others. At that time, emotional independence began to grow inside you.
• responsibility
Embed in yourself that the person who is most responsible for your happiness is yourself. With this mindset, when you are hurt by someone else's actions, you will be easier to move on or continue living. Not too long you fell because of the wound.
Double-check your song collection. If at first, you like songs that are heartbroken, replace your song collection with songs with the theme of independence and freedom.
Believe it or not, listening to certain songs can affect your emotions and feelings. When you get hurt, then you hear a song about a broken heart, so your heart will get sicker too. Therefore, you need songs with independence and victory themes to reduce the pain.
Embed in you this watchword: "Let the dog bark. The caravan is gone. "
You are who you are, not what other people think of you.
• Be grateful
Sometimes, we become people who are deficient because we want to look perfect in the eyes of others. We want to be intelligent and highly educated, wealthy, and have prestigious positions.
This, instead of motivating us to be more advanced, often makes us less grateful. Especially when we are never satisfied with what we have.
Perhaps, we already have a remarkable academic degree, but the academic degree of our friends or neighbors is far superior. We then feel less than perfect.
Probably too, our financial ability is above the average person, but seeing our neighbors is much more established and influential makes us feel inferior in our environment.
All of that makes us hurt and depressed, right? We will be constantly haunted by our own dissatisfaction.
Well, to eliminate the mindset as above, be thankful often. Thank you for what we have. Do not look up, but look down. There are still many people who are not as lucky as us.
Instead of spending our time regretting our "imperfection" we better help those who are deprived.
That way, your happiness will no longer depend on your fear of other people's judgments about you. No matter how others judge you, it does not affect your happiness.
• Enjoy solitude
One way to grow emotional independence is to be in solitude. Many people feel his life is sad when no one accompanies him, who cares for him.
In fact, not always others can accompany us. Other people always come and go for their own business. It's not just other people who are like that, our own child too, when it's time, it will leave us to their own happiness.
Well, your independence is tested when you are in solitude. Alone means that no one else can be the source of our life, where we hang our happiness on it.
Therefore, train yourself to enjoy loneliness. Always remember that other people live not for you. They were born in the world for their own happiness. Even so with you.
• Be yourself
Finally, be yourself. This means that your life is not regulated by others, not by the environment in which you live.
Sometimes, what we believe is not in accordance with the beliefs and cultures that apply in our environment. For example, religious beliefs and political views. If we grow up in a family that adopts belief A, then most likely our beliefs will follow our parents' beliefs. So it is with our political views.
Now, when you reach adulthood, your decision is entirely to choose your own way of life. This means that you are free to choose your own beliefs. You are free to have your own political views.
Do not let others dictate you in your beliefs. Imagine the thought that your life beliefs, your way of life is entirely your right, not the rights of others.
Depression or stress often occurs when we are not ourselves. We force ourselves to be what the environment or family wants to be. We live in pretense. In addition, we constantly blame ourselves for our desires. The more we feel guilty, the more we pretend. Well, that's why we are stressed and depressed.
So are some ways that you can apply to foster emotional independence. As I've pointed out above, emotional independence is an important mindset that helps you find your happiness.
The foundation of this mindset is that the only person most responsible for our happiness is ourselves. With this mindset, we will not be easily hurt by the actions of others. We also no longer care about the judgment of others against ourselves that often drop our self-esteem.
One thing we must remember for this mindset to remain in us is that other people are born in the world not for our happiness. They were born in the world for their own happiness. So it is with us. We are reborn in the world for our own happiness. Each person has their own happiness. So, do not hang our happiness on others.