Cinderella- A Damnable Character

Every society has its own sets of good and bad behaviors on the basis of which it describes its ideals. When I hear the conversation of someone belonging to the previous generation (a contemporary of my parents), those women are presented to be exemplary who spent their lives silently in limited resources and/or in an abusive relationship. A woman who tolerated the mistreatment of their in-laws patiently and kept on serving them as a slave is presented as an ideal to be followed.

It is not just the previous generation’s folk who has this ideology, the dramas and literature meant for the present generation also inculcate the mindset that an ideal woman is someone who is hardworking, kind, loyal and patient. Certainly, these traits are laudable and deserve to be idealized. The issue is not with the traits, the problem is with the definition of these traits. Let me explain how these traits are defined for women in my society. A hardworking woman is someone who keeps on serving her in-laws above and beyond her actual responsibilities. Because of being kind, she tolerates the injustice, rudeness and emotional abuse with a smile on her face. In return for all the mistreatment what she displays is more submissiveness. The loyalty of her never lets her out of a relationship that is worse to the extent of physical abuse. At the end of the whole story, she is presented to be a woman with great patience.

As we know, patience is a heavenly virtue, so God rewards such a woman with peace in her life. Everything solves on its own. Her husband starts valuing her and finally she achieves everything a happy woman should have.

That's what literature and dramas tell us. In our real lives, I don't find any story where the circumstances altered in the favor of a woman without any efforts because of the aforementioned qualities. Still, we are given examples of the similar kind of women as ideals. It is strange, isn't it?

It seems strange at a glance, but it is not that strange. There are reasons behind it. It is about a society where the ultimate purpose of a woman's life is to get married. After the marriage, only one purpose is left behind, which is to become a mother. That's it. If these two purposes are attained, the woman is considered a successful lady. Now, to maintain that status of success, all her struggles are to secure that relationship no matter what kind of emotional and physical mistreatments she may have to pass through. To tolerate all this, the lollypop of patience is handed to her. She is told that patience would pay her, and she will become the princess. Just like Cinderella, if she bears mistreatments and abuse of her relatives complacently, a fairy godmother will come and pave her way to become the princess.

I am sorry to say that the virtue of patience is manipulated and wrongly defined. Wrapped in the cover of patience, cowardice, laziness and fear are supported. Patience does not at all mean to sit back and wait for the miracles to happen. Nothing like fairy godmothers exists in the world out of Disney land. Nothing changes on its own. We need to put our efforts for the betterment. Patience is there to keep us hopeful when our efforts do not bring instant results. Patience means to struggle and remain consistent in it until a fruitful outcome is obtained.

I would like to request the so-called patient women of my society to come out of the Cinderella Syndrome. Marriage is only a phase of life. It is not the ultimate destiny. In your strive to be taken care of and loved by others, you are losing your identity. You are trying to boost your self-esteem by a bogus belief that you are patient. Dig deeper into yourself. You are not actually patient but afraid of coming out of your comfort zone.

In the end, there is a poem, dedicated to all the women of my society and the societies alike.

This is my participation for pob word of the week. I have chosen the word “patience”