Image edited from Canva.
Since I enrolled myself to college without anyone supporting me but myself, it was already expected that I would struggle financially. I was wrong to think that I had already anticipated what was coming and prepared for it ahead while I was still working. The journey wasn't easy for me, last year 2022, yet the thought of pursuing my goals is my only motivation.
Despite the determination and perseverance, I still have those episodes of experiencing a roller coaster of emotions, then anxiety, discouragement, and depression pitched in, adding fuel to the fire and sprinkling salt to my wounds. People who know me personally might think that I'm one of those strong and independent women, wherein, they even look up to me. I don't intend to disappoint them but sometimes I couldn't help but cry silently alone in my room. Absorbing all of the pain that have built up in my system since it has destroyed all of the defenses I have made to protect myself from any distraction.
I mean, it's natural to break down sometimes if you can't take it anymore. It wouldn't make less of a person that you are or make you a weak being. Understandably, you're only proving to yourself that you're still a human after all who can be emotional at times and not a robot in a monotone with a programmed skill set. We are natural!
This December was my lowest though it was supposed to be the merriest one. I was supposed to celebrate but all I could think was to survive. My bills drained me after the training fees and allowances. I wasn't sure anymore if I can't proceed to the second semester. Almost everyday, I woke up with a heavy heart and a pressured mind. My emotions ate me up instead of thinking of a way to solve my problems in this difficult situation.
Then, this gift brought me back to reality. It might be simple from someone close to me, yet it helps a lot until now. It is like an antidote to my poisoned soul currently suffering from its symptoms. It became my daily dose of positivity and to outnumber the negativities that I had in me. I hang it up in the wherein every time I wake up, I will look at it first to have a daily charge of motivation.
Truly,
"Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations."
because all of this struggles, hard work, and perseverance will pay off in the future. Thinking of the quote, I know that I will have my compensation, reward, or the returns when all of this effort can finally bear its fruits.
I feed myself with that kind of motivation everyday and it has calmed the storm inside. Now I'm back to grind with all I might just to make up for what's less. With a peaceful mind, I can hear my ancestor's whisper of that famous quote again. What is that again?
"If there's a will, there's a way."
Aye! If you truly want it, find ways to have it. Now, I have come to my senses. I'll no longer think of giving up. "No matter what, you should finish what you have started." Another command from the gift-giver which I almost forgot.
That is duly noted.
- Hello, hivers! This is my first post here in this community. Thanks for taking to read my blog.
- Page dividers are from the Discord server of The Terminal.