How to overcome the fear of calls?

Fear of calling a potential client, a job ad, a hospital, to strangers-who among us has not experienced the feeling? Modern psychologists even managed to come up with a special term: "telephone phobia," which, by the way, is already firmly in fashion. We are afraid to call with neighbors and relatives, we are afraid to invite an interesting person on the phone for a date, dinner in a restaurant or a business meeting.

Why is this happening?

The first and most obvious reason for the origin of the fear of telephone calls is, as strange as it sounds, with the spread of so-called "virtual communication". It would seem that more recently, mobile phones have appeared that should, on the contrary, help us to actively call each other and not be afraid to do it. But the fact is that people are used to using mobile devices also for writing. Today, in the age of the Internet, we try to write more often than to call and get used to correspondence, and not to communicate in voice. Therefore, there is a natural fear of calls.

The second reason is determined by negative scenarios, which many draw in their heads before the bell. Have not yet called, but already predicted in advance what will happen. As in a joke: now I knock on her, she will open the door and invite me to tea, then we'll go to bed, she will become pregnant, I'll have to marry her! So here - we pre-program ourselves to fail. But why?

It is worth noting that this feature is peculiar, above all, to suspicious and unsettling personalities, with low self-esteem, who are afraid to be rejected. They do not want to pick up the phone and dial the number because they are afraid of anger or simply not having an answer at that end of the wire.

Inadequate reaction of the interlocutor, they mistakenly connect with themselves. Then, as a matter of fact, the cause, as a rule, is outside. A person may be just nervous, or he is busy and not getting enough sleep and just as he would have answered another. Remember that a happy person is always friendly and will be glad to call you at any time of the day.

The third reason is the fear of action, which is characteristic first of all for passive and shy people. He is treated simply: by the action. Call. And even if you are not answered, you will immediately note that the fear has already passed. Resetting your tone does not mean that you do not want to talk. There will be free time and opportunity - you will be called back.

Often the fear of calls arises for one more reason - you do not know what you can talk on the phone. This drawback is traditionally associated with insufficiently developed social skills. How to solve this problem - read on.

If the call is personal, it is useful before the conversation to completely forget about yourself and stand in the place of the interlocutor. Imagine how a person spent the day, what events he could have at work, whether he returned home tired, what he did after work in the evening. Think about whether your society is really nice to him - and only then decide if it's worth calling.

If you want to call a job ad, first make a list of questions that you are going to ask the manager. Just in case, come up with a couple of phrase-rescues, so you can pull the time at the time of unexpected questions. Finally, make a few preliminary calibrations, say, friends or relatives, this will reduce the fear of a call to the employer.

Very important point. Try to start any telephone conversation in a friendly, calm and friendly tone. At the beginning of the conversation, ask "how are you?", Think in advance about what you can ask the interlocutor, what he can do compliments. In particular, girls like it when they refer to their pleasant voice, and young people - to the way they are interesting to talk.

Remember that the fear of a call is natural. It is experienced by all people without exception. We are all somewhat worried about the process of telephone conversations, especially with strangers. This is normal.

Formulate the purpose of the call, if a short conversation is planned. Repeat it to yourself several times. This will help to reduce the level of anxiety during a conversation and adjust to the right wave.

Exercise regularly. Every day, call on any questions - in the help desk, in the organization, in the library, on ads, etc. This, first, will allow you to develop conversation skills, and secondly, make telephone conversations more familiar to you.

Before the calls, perform the Deep Breath exercise. Deeply inhale, hold your breath and at the expense of 6 or 8 - exhale slowly. Repeat the cycle several times.

Time to call. To ensure not to run into a "message", observe the telephone etiquette. On weekdays it is allowed to call from 8.00 AM to 10.00 PM. At the weekend - after 10.00 AM. But if you want to disturb a person who has small children in his house, it is better to pick up the receiver no later than 9.00 PM. At a later time, you can call only very close people (friends, relatives), and even then - for urgent needs. And do not forget that most people are more comfortable talking at lunchtime.

Record the result of each call. Both successful and unsuccessful. This will help avoid repeating errors and make important and useful conclusions for the future.