I'm not sure about you guys but I love asking questions that never seem to have a perfect answer. That's, in fact, the sole purpose of this article. As you read in the title, we're gonna ask some questions about love that I personally don't see paid much attention to.
Love is something that isn't really that easy to explain, even if it's one of our most basic human needs and almost everyone experiences it in their life. As emotional beings, we've always been mesmerized by the art of love through numerous artistic mediums.
If I had to describe love, I would say it's simply our best tool to make ourselves feel immortal. The climax of every romantic love story hints towards that aesthetic overwhelming feeling of being disconnected from ourselves and the world around us, and connected with a love greater than our own selves.
But in love for family and friends, the quality of security, easiness, and nostalgia is highlighted the most. It's true that the love you receive from your parents in childhood plays a major role in how you perceive romantic love in your adulthood.
The love for life, however, is something which focuses precisely on the wonders of existence. This is the kinda love that isn't related with people specifically, but with the quality of being aware and the bliss of realizing the gift of life, mixed with the fear of death and existential crisis.
All of this begs the question, which one of them is superior? For the sake of length of this article, we'll be focusing mainly on 3 kinds of love: romantic, parental, and self-love.
Aesthetic Value
It's no news that romantic love is something that we love talking, writing, reading, performing, drawing, and singing about. Majority of all the art that there is and was in the world, in one way or the other, focuses on the drama of romantic love.
There's a reason why people say things like, "it feels good to be hurt this way" or "beautiful pain," even if they are left emotionally devastated in search for romantic love. The very drive to want to love and be loved is powerful enough to make us want to gamble with our feelings.
The risk in chasing after romantic love sure is great as you might get your heart broken to the point where it may seem as if it can never heal again, but the rewards are equally great, if not more, as you get to become the co-author of your own love story and shape it in a way that you'll remember till your last breath.
When you're deeply and truly in love with someone, there's this strange feeling of wanting to let go of everything you are, so you can become everything your partner wants you to be. If that's emotionally healthy or not, that's a whole different discussion. But nonetheless, that feeling, is what most of us live for.
Roots of Love
Now here's the tricky part: even though romantic love sure has its perks, the first love we ever experience comes from our parents, or a parental figure for the less-fortunate among us. It's them, who first teach us what love is and what it is supposed to do.
Without a parental figure, it would be really difficult for anyone to figure out how love really works and what it should feel like. It gives you the base on which you choose romantic love later in your life.
But it's also true that a toxic parent can screw up your idea of love just as much as a good parent can help nurture it, which may take years and years of therapy in your adult life to set yourself free from the negligence you faced in your childhood.
The way I see it, parental love is the root of all kinds of love and if your roots didn't start strong, your plant won't stand tall unless you take care of it the way it needed to be by your parents, simple as that.
Love of Life & Self-Love
This kind of love is something I've been trying to practice a lot lately, and I can tell you from experience, it really does make you see life in a different way. For me, my love for life first originated from my fear of not knowing what comes after death. Try imagining that you don't exist. Try to think of not being able to feel, see, smell, taste, sense, or listen.
Can't imagine it, can you? That's because we can only imagine the things that we already have some information about. Where your consciousness is before birth and after death, however, is something we can never know about. That's exactly what makes life so rare and precious, and the thought of not having it makes us scared and anxious.
I think for me, to some degree, my existential crisis has led me into becoming more grateful towards life and the person I am. I know this might sound totally crazy to some of you, but think about it: there will never be another "you" in this world. Someone might have the same name as you, but "you" are literally a universal exclusive, just like all of us, because consciousness can't be duplicated.
Feel really special now, don't you?
So, which one is more superior?
Like I said, questions like these never have a perfect answer. Part of the beauty of being able to experience love is that you get to choose what kind of love you value the most.
The western philosophy of love is surely one that lays more emphasis on romantic love, while the eastern philosophy guides you towards unity of soul with the world. But then again, you get to choose what kind of love serves you the most.
For me personally, I think romantic love should come after self-love, because like they say, you can't love someone else if you can't even love yourself. And just like that, self-love comes after parental love because your parents are the ones who teach you what love is supposed to mean.
If you look at it this way, there seems to be a sequence in which love operates, for most of us anyways, though there can be some strong exceptions too. So you can say that every stage of your life needs a different kind of love more than the other ones which serves that specific stage the most.
I'm curious to know what you guys think of this. I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have a different philosopy about love.
Related articles:
- Above And Away - Sharing One Of My Hiding Spots
- Real Talk #2 - The Pain Of Loving A Toxic Parent
- What I Learned From Meeting An Old Friend After Two Years
Continue reading:
- The Rise Of Over-Equalization Of Genders - Why Men And Women Can't Be Fully "Equals"
- Why Do Nice People Act So Evil Sometimes?
- Why Honesty Is Not Always The Best Policy - When And When Not To Be Honest
- Why Always Looking On The Bright Side Is Not The Answer
- Thoughts On The Future Of Modern Education - What 'The Ideal Classroom' Should Look Like
