How I felt the first time I went out without asking for permission
As someone from a very protective Nigerian home gaining independence or "freedom" is something you have to fight for. Like most other parents, my parents wanted and still want the best for me and they do whatever it is as long as it is in their power to make sure I am the best version of myself. Going to the best schools possible, teaching me hard work, scolding me when need be, teaching me how to treat others, and making me see that nothing comes easy. But then there's a problem that a lot of families especially protective ones have, and my family had (still does) the problem, and that is knowing when to let go and let me take the lead.
They equipped me with all that I needed, but then it was time to take the initiative and face the challenges that come with adulthood but they didn't want to let me. I remember back then anytime I wanted to go anywhere I'd have to beg so hard before I get their permission, or sometimes I'd even go in secret without their consent.
As I grew older I realized I needed to take control, but I wasn't sure how exactly to go about it. I was thinking, ok when I get to 18 years of age they'll set me free. And then I turned 18 years old and they didn't set me free oo. By then I was a bit more emotionally mature so I had to take control by myself.
Rather than ask them if I could go out I'd tell them I was going out, when I needed to do something I wouldn't call them to tell them, because I realized that by always calling them and telling them they wouldn't let me take my own initiative. Rather I'd tell them after I'd done it.
It was a struggle at first, but slowly they started to take the hint and understand that I was growing. Surely enough I made a lot of mistakes. And they'd be angry at me for making the mistakes. I'd also be angry at myself then, but then with time, I realized that It was all part of the process. If I didn't make the mistakes then when was I going to make the mistake?
The truth of the matter is that If I didn't take initiative then, I'd end up being unable to make my own decisions as an adult. Because whether we like it or not they can't be in my life forever. And if I didn't learn how to be independent then I'll make a lot of mistakes. And the thing with life is that the older you are the greater the impact of a mistake on your life. So it is a lot better to make mistakes when you still have the chance to correct them. And then when you make mistakes you can always come back to them for advice and they'd guide you.
As for feeling older than my age, I don't think I have ever felt older than my age. I have the mindset that age is not necessarily an indication of maturity so when I do something that one would see as something typical of an old man, I see it as normal.
So there you have it, fought for my freedom within the ages of 18 to 19. Till now I still have to battle with them at times, but I know it's all from a place of love and them wanting what's best for me.
This is my entry to the Hive Naija weekly prompt. be sure to check it out.