I've started this letter so many times but have never been able to get past the first paragraph. I don't know why, my feelings for you are boundless, you fill my thoughts, distract me in the most beautiful ways and I feel you moving inside me; it's as if you've taken residence within me, my heart mind and soul and, if I'm truthful, I believe that to be the case in reality. It should be easy to write to you, but it's not, I think it's because your words are so beautiful, and I feel mine pale into insignificance in comparison.
I felt I knew you even before we spoke; I would read your words and feel them so profoundly. They sprang to life, lifted from the page and wrapped themselves around me in a gentle, but firm, embrace. I'll not lie, I thought a lot about your embrace in those early days; my daydreams were of you and because of you.
As I read, I began to understand that I was responding to what you didn't write also. I became lost between the lines and the spaces between your beautiful words and the feeling of being lost in, and because of, you is something I wanted to submit to...and then I met you.
I took this image
It was at your book signing, in that big old house, where I saw you for the first time. I waited in line, your book in hand, nervous and excited.
I watched how you smiled at people, gave each person your full attention like they were the only person in the room, and I saw how they responded. My thought drifted to being lost between the lines of your writing and how beautiful it would be to be lost between lines we wrote together.
By the time I stood at the front of the line I'd memorised you...then you looked up at me and smiled; I knew I was hopelessly lost...and found.
My words could never be enough to describe the feeling, but over the course of the book signing, listening to you read passages of your own writing, I felt something move within me, something clicked and I felt connected to you in some way...It's silly writing it out now, but I can't explain it any other way. I promise I'm not a stalker, I speak from the heart. I felt like I knew you, that all of those lines I'd read had revealed yourself to me, and I felt I wanted to do the same in return.
I felt like I knew you the moment I saw you, from the inside out.
The essence of a person is more than words...it's in the way they move and speak, the actions they take, mannerisms, the way they carry themselves, the small gestures that show kindness, courtesy, humility and strength of character. It's in a smile that touches the eyes and oh my, how your eyes touch me.
I read you like a book that day, but never felt I knew enough, I wanted to be lost between the lines with you and to write those lines with you; I wanted to be the reason for your words, the emotion that brings them forth.
I didn't see you for a month after that day, but I thought of you, becoming a little more lost each time. I didn't mind, but I missed you, the feeling of being me with you in the same room.
I don't know what serendipity brought us into the same bookstore a month after I first met you, but there we were, together, and when you said my name my heart skipped. You remembered my name.
We talked about books, writing and life and you asked if I wanted coffee...
It's been three months since that coffee and the hours I spent with you that afternoon, the best three months of my life. I sit here, only hours before being with you again, and I write this letter, one you'll never see, to calm my nerves and centre my thoughts.
I look forward to dinner with you, as always, but tonight will be different, I have a line to write into my life and knowing me I'll mess it up, but it will come from the heart, my heart that is yours, and I'm compelled to say it. Tonight, I will tell you I'm in love with you and that I want to be lost between the lines with you forever...and I hope you'll finish the line in your beautiful way, and that we can begin writing the rest of our lives together from that point.
Becca 💗
This is a fictional "letter" written for the weekend-engagement concept which you can find in the WEEKEND EXPERIENCES community.