A witness to a force of nature - thoughts of a father about the birth of his child

A birth is an elementary experience - anyone who has ever participated as a father or mother knows this. When else are you so close to the pulse of life, when else do you experience nature so directly? A father made notes to his thoughts and feelings shortly after the birth of his daughter.

I became a father for the fifth time on the night of Saturday (5 years ago now). As with the birth of the first child, the whole thing was an incomparable and very emotional experience. Luckily, everything worked without major problems. A good hour later, my wife and I thought that we could go home, too. The midwife confirmed to us that nothing would stand in the way of an outpatient birth - we had looked after a care midwife in advance and the baby was already looking for the breast. However, we would be released at the earliest four hours after birth. For the mother, not the child.

So we three were sitting in the delivery room early in the morning, exhausted and waiting. At that moment, I decided to take a few notes on the feelings and thoughts I had that night before, during, and after birth. These are just bullet points, loosely linked thoughts. I beg you to forgive me, but I have decided to only formulate the notes, not artificially link them and dilute them. A birth is a very emotional thing. This text should reflect a little bit of it. Here are my thoughts.

Anyone who does not even go through a birthing as a participant, lacks an elementary experience in life

A birth is a primal experience, as you probably never experienced in life. When else is one witnessing such a force of nature, when is one so close to the pulse of life that determines our existence? Anyone who does not even experience this as a participant, that is, as a father or mother or close confidant, escapes something essential, something elemental, and this person lacks a piece of the puzzle in life as a human being.

As a man, you feel helpless at a birth. I could not do much more than hold my hand, give my courage and regularly reach for water. I wanted to help my wife, but - frankly - do not trade with her either. If men had to give birth to children, then certainly there would be fewer children - and certainly more single children! I am in awe of the accomplishments of every woman who has "squeezed out" her child, and I am infinitely grateful to my wife for taking on the births of our children. I love you for it, honey!

Likewise, I have great respect for midwives and their craft. They are specialists in an age-old and elementary important field. They play a significant role in the survival of humanity. It is a shame that this important profession is paid so badly that many midwives have to give up their vocation. Did you know that in Germany a birth is only allowed in an emergency without a midwife, but without a doctor? At the birth of our daughter, the doctor only came in the last few minutes - and was not missed.

It's hard to believe how fast a baby "works" after birth

Keeping your own baby right after birth - after all the work in progress, after all those hours of pain - is a bliss that is unlikely to happen a second time in this world. You are emotionally carried away, at least close to tears, relieved, the stress and the pain fall away from the mother. You know that his life is changing, you know you have experienced something great, you are relieved, grateful and just happy.

It's fascinating how fast a new terrestrial man "works". A baby is a finished being who clings to the mother with his tiny fingers and looks for the breast. It struggles from the beginning to survive. It is fabulous.

When the birth was over - after labor, screaming, hope, much willpower from my wife and also a lot of blood - and holding our baby, I was happy, emotionally and physically exhausted and grateful for the successful birth and ours healthy child. With a few minutes' silence, I thought how happy I am to live at a time and in a country where giving birth is a comparatively risk-free thing for the mother and most of all the baby. The times when many mothers and babies died in childbirth are not that long ago, but fortunately over. I was very grateful for that night.