I came back from work quite late today and was preparing to take my bath before having dinner when my phone rang. It was my cousin sister calling. She sent me on an errand and call to confirm if i was able to get it done. When we were done speaking, she asked calmly ****"Betty how have you been?"** This is a simple question but it meant so much to me. Instantly, tears rolled down my check's and I calmly replied- Sisi I am doing just fine thanks for asking.*
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She asked again to be sure if everything was going on well with me and I explained just how perfect things are for me and the she hung up.
After the call, I was smiling and crying at the same time. The Irony here was why such a simple question would make someone cry. It was when she asked that I realized how lonely my life has been all in the name of independence. It was when she asked that I realized that for a long time now, nobody has truly asked me how I am feeling or how is life treating me. I think facing life alone is a package that comes with being independent.
How it all started.
My dad made be believe he has everything covered and there's no point struggle to get things done all by myself for myself. I remembered how the very first time in life I told my dad that I would love to get a job, he told me not to that if it is about the money, he'll be paying me monthly. He won't allow me to start working for someone at such a young age. That was immediately after graduating from secondary school.
That was how he started paying me an agreed salary monthly for staying at home and doing nothing. It sounded so perfect and I was happy with how my life was going until I left for the university. When I was In school, my parents provided every single thing i needed down to my cravings. I can just wake up and call my dad telling him I want to eat a particular meal and he will send money to get the ingredients needed to make that meal a reality.
My dad made me believe that, there's nothing any other man can offer me that he can't. Every valentine, he has a tradition of calling me in the morning and telling me how much he loves me. One thing he'll always say is that "don't allow any man treat you bad or make you feel bad because of money. I am here to take care of you." I would always smile and say thank you Daddy!!. One interesting thing about that morning call was the money that follows. Dada will always send money to me with a caption "don't follow any man out. Before they'll use you for me." I'll always smile and reply with Noted sir, thank you!! I love you!!!
As time went by, I realized I can't do anything on my own. I admired how my friends were making progress with their lives. I watched how they started a small business, how it is growing, and the stage it's in right now. I wanted that too for myself not necessarily for the money but the fulfilment that comes with it.
I told my friend I wanted to own a business and she advised me to start small instead of investing so much in a business I have no idea of and losing everything due to lack of experience. That was how I started selling cold drinks and snacks in my lodge since I had a freezer in my room. It was going well until I realized that I didn't know the difference between profit and capital. I was so indiscipline that I spend everything and when the business is down, I'll use my personal money to start all over again.
She advised me that if I truly want to grow, I should stop asking my parents for money all the time. I should learn to be independent. I was faithful to that agreement at first but as time went by, I couldn't keep up with it. I was still asking for money till I graduated from the university.
After graduation, I made up my mind to be totally Independent. I won't ask my parents for money and if they send money to me, I won't reject it either.
And how God would have it, I got a job few months after graduation. I told my parents about it and they were so happy for me.
Now the problem is, things have become very expensive. I don't know if it's a plan but nobody check on me anymore. Could you believe that for the first time in history my dad messaged me on valentines day to wish me happy valentine. He did not call me, no alert, just a plain text. Is this what it means to be independent? I was so pained that day.
Now, my parents call me once in a while and even when I call, they're in a hurry to hang up. I don't know what is happening. But it seems as if I would break the promise I made of not asking them for money because it's been so long they offer to send me money without me asking.
I have been so busy trying to build my life and it seems as if the world has forgotten me. Little wonder I cried when my cousin asked about my well being. It feels as if I am in the world all alone.
Right now, I feel so independent.
Independency indeed isn't for the faint hearted. Some days I cry my heart out when things are not going as planned. I really want to go back home. But for how long will I run? This very question is what keeps me going every day. I keep telling myself that no one is coming to save me. My parents have done their best. It's time I do my best and create the right environment for my unborn kids.