I wanted to share my cannabis pandemic story.
I never smoked cannabis until I was 33 years old. I was searching for a cure to cancer on youtube when I came across a cannabis documentary that converted me in about 15 minutes to cannabis. So I began consuming cannabis for the first time in 2013 and I fell in love with Mary Jane and I never looked back. I always had an ounce of cannabis on me at all times. And then 6 years later I made a small miscalculation in my judgement that turned out to be a huge mistake. I said to myself,
" I'm going to travel to a small island and quit smoking so I can write a book about my life. "
I knew I couldn't write the book while stoned because I had learned from many years of wake up to text messages I had sent the night before that no longer made sense BUT while I was high it must have seemed really funny!!! I also said to myself,
" I WANT TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME IF I QUIT SMOKING? "
So in February 2019 I smoked my last joint and got on an airplane and traveled to a small island and rented a beach condo and began writing my book. I was actually excited about it and new I always had beer to fall back on if I got to stressed out. So over a period of 8 months I wrote my book and published it and then,
" CAPT. WILD BILL WENT ON THE HUNT FOR CANNABIS "
I was so excited to be reunited with Mary Jane again and then my excitement slowly turned to HORROR...
I got robbed 3 times trying to buy cannabis. The 4th time I finally got lucky and when I inspected the weed I was about to buy, IT WAS THE MOST EXPENSIVE DIRT WEED I HAD EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! Probably 3% thc dirt weed! But it had seeds so I accepted! I started germinating the seeds. Nothing germinated. So now I'm on the hunt again and then BOOM ~ the pandemic of 2020 hit and locked the entire island down.
Struck with the worst sadness of my life, I became an alcoholic just to get by in life. I became an angry alcoholic too. And it was at this moment that I learned, all of the hate and anger and depression and suppression of bad memories and things that happened to me in life that cannabis HAD SUPRESSED all those years ~ CAME OUT OF ME!
I fuking snapped, and I snapped hard! I'd get so drunk I'd walk outside my house at 3am and scream and yell for the neighbors to call the police so I could fight them! I was on a suicide mission I was so angry. Luckily and thankfully, were I live the people would rather gossip about you than see you go to jail for being drunk. People would wake me up at 7am in the morning because I'd be passed out drunk sleeping on the doorsteps of the bar!
" I'm not proud of this moment ~ my heart was broken because I couldn't find the love and savior of my life Mary Jane "
After I calmed down and accepted my fate, I was back on the hunt for cannabis seeds so I could grow my own good quality cannabis at home but the pandemic now made it 100 times more difficult to even meet someone to profile them and ask for weed. But one day I got lucky and I found a seller. Once again the most expensive dirt weed in the world but I didn't care cause I wanted the seeds. 3 seeds germinated and I was brought back to life with JOY and HAPPINESS for the first time in almost 2 years.
BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT
I was about to learn something new about cannabis that I never even knew of before. I didn't realize I was dealing with a native landrace sativa strain. seed to harvest is about 8 or 9 months. My indoor grow area was 1 square meter. Plus ~ I never had to grow my own before. My pots were to small. IT TOOK 3 MONTHS JUST TO IDENTIFY IF THEY WERE MALE OF FEMALE! I had 1 male and 2 female but I new I had made a mistake and just bred them to get more seeds. 1st crop was a failure.
Second crop ~ 4 months in and the police raided one of my neighbors who was a meth dealer!!! Cops were everywhere outside my door and I had 4 plants and about 10 clones growing roots LOL. You talk about sh*tting a brick house that day!!! I destroyed the second crop that night I was so paranoid. Within 2 weeks I moved to a new location to start over!
Third crop ~ 10 seeds germinated and 8 failed to grow and died after a month. Standing there, faced with the pure horror of my situation. I snapped again. I didn't care anymore. I took the chance of travel for the first time during the pandemic. I bought a boat ticket and left the island to never return. I traveled 24 hours in a boat to another island. When I arrived and settled down on my new Island and started poking around, guess what?
KUSH IS EVERYWHERE!!! I WENT 3 YEARS WITHOUT MARY JANE AND IT ALMOST KILLED ME AND LANDED ME IN PRISON. IT WAS THE WORST 3 YEARS OF MY LIFE EVEN THOUGH I WROTE PROBABLY THE GREATEST FISHING BOOK IN THE WORLD THAT THEY WILL MAKE A MOVIE OUT OF ONE DAY. I FOUND THE ANSWER TO MY QUESTION I ASKED BACK IN 2019,
" I want to KNOW what will happen to me if I quit smoking cannabis "
The answer is ~ become the most depressed alcoholic person in the world who constantly goes on suicide missions to find Mary Jane!
Even though Kush is available to me now, I haven't forgotten the lessons I learn in attempting to grow my own cannabis. It's something that I still want to pursue because it did bring me joy in a time were I had no joy. But after all of the trials and tribulations that I have gone through and all of the online books I read out of boredom about how to grow cannabis, in the current situation I'm in, the best decision to make is to grow AutoFlowers. It's extremely illegal to have them shipped to me but it has become a new hobby of mine searching for seeds online. One day I will figure out a way to get my hands on autoflower seeds. All I need are 5 autoflower seeds a year. Growing cannabis and I are now glued together in life. One day I will be successful in growing my savior Mary Jane.
Thank you for reading ~ that was the hardest 3 years of my life.