Here is my 5 minute #freewrite on Friday’s “Freedom” prompt: Day 350: 5 Minute Freewrite: Friday - Prompt: freedom
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Freedom.
I look at all the things I could do this weekend and love knowing I have the freedom to choose how to spend my time, where to go, and who I’ll be with.
The tapping of the keg for an Oktoberfest, only 45 minutes away.
I live for Oktoberfest! It’s my only Holy Day of Obligation!
And yet I’ve never attended the keg tapping, nor the Stein-hoisting contests, nor the Hammerschlagen. I try not to miss the Saturday morning parade with the Clydesdales even though they’re never real Clydesdales, just Percherons, but hey, any massive work horse is worth my time on the road to go see. Not to mention the polka bands playing on the sidewalks, and the heavenly aromas of brats on the grill, and the glorious golden ales flowing from the local brewers.
Sadly, I am allergic to nitrites and nitrates in the brats, the gluten in the buns and the beer, and the sugar in the kettle corn (which smells glorious). But I enjoy it all vicariously. Yes, come Saturday morning, I shall go to the annual Oktoberfest!
Friday night, a literary festival, with authors, in the college town nearby.
Husband would rather unclog hair from our daughter’s shower drain.
Ah, same town, same Friday night, dancing at Old Brick. Only 50 minutes away be car. Three hours of ballroom dancing! Only $4 each, from 7 to 10 p.m.. Husband says no thanks.
Closer to home the Celtic band at 9 p.m., only ten minutes by car.
“It’s a cold, wet night to be out,” husband says.
But the hotel parking lot is so easy - only a minute to the door!
He’s ensconced now on the sofa, remote in hand, flipping through the same, tired titles Netflix has to offer.
By 9 p.m., I’m tired and sinus-y and my chronic headache is worse than usual so I go to bed early for once. Tomorrow there’s the parade, and there’s also a Meswkawki dance only TWO MILES from home at a nature center! I must go!
Saturday morning arrives, cold and wet. After the last rainy Oktoberfest, husband and I had agreed “never again.” Fine. No parade this morning.
I have the freedom to go by myself to the Meswawki event. And I think I will do that.
But I also have the freedom to stay home, stay out of trouble, save fossil fuels, save others from the hazard I pose whenever I get into a car alone and drive somewhere.
I’m free to go places and do things, free to make choices and live my life as I please.
And yet I’m free to choose None of the Above. And all too often, that is my choice.
It's been said that anorexia comes from a desire for control. Usually a girl, the anorexic starves herself, sometimes to death, because choosing not to eat, choosing how thin she can be, is her only sense of control.
I look at all the choices offered me - places to go, things to do - and there are usually too many to pick from. Ultimately, all too often, I end up choosing none of the above. Just... stay home. I am free! Free to choose to do... the same old, same old. I am in control!
Here I am, home on a rainy Saturday morning, three minutes past the 5-minute timer, writing a #freewrite about freedom, wondering if "frozen" is closer to how I feel right now.